Each time you apologize,

I know it will not carry forward.

Each time you say you will change,

You don’t.

Each time you try to make amends, and I forgive,

You give me new grudges to hold.

What is your satisfaction in bringing me down?

I truly don’t understand it.

Do you get a rush, a thrill, a surge of excitement,

All from tearing down my mood?

Help me understand because I don’t know why you’re doing this.

Maybe if I can understand,

I can forgive.

But don’t worry, I’ll still forgive you even if you don’t explain.

And you dont worry either, since you know I’ll let the same thing happen the next time.

I want to take a stand,

But fear the drama.

I want to let you go,

But fear your hate.

(Even thought you already show it).

And I want to show you the door out of my life,

Yet I don’t.

Why?

I don’t understand this either.

Why do I put myself through this every day?

Why do I let you deprecate me?

So many questions, left unanswered in my mind,

But I accept your apology,

As I float down into the void of self-doubt.