hello to

my dearest friend,

i have questions to ask of

you and you’ll probably

laugh it off

but i want a real answer,

my friend,

so please give me

one truth:

why do you care

about what i say

or do?

i mean,

when i mention my

mascara, you

scrunch up your

nose as if

it were a rotting carcass in the

middle of the highway-

i mean, i don’t

think it concerns you

in any way at all,

and you say

it doesn’t make

a difference, so

why can’t i put it on?

and when i say

i’ve though about

cutting my hair short,

you look terrified but

it wouldn’t look bad

at all.

and dying my hair

is off limits too,

and again

i’m not sure why,

i mean im not yours

anymore so you don’t

really get a say.

because is it your

body and mind that

would benefit?

because mascara gives

me confidence that

i don’t normally feel,

and long hair becomes a

trigger in a bad

panic attack,

and hair color could

make me feel a

bit more like myself

so maybe when

i tell you what

my thoughts about

my looks are,

maybe you shouldn’t judge

me, or maybe

you shouldn’t wonder

why i don’t

answer

at all