I tried to demonstrate restraint, carefully hidden emotions concealed behind a calm demeanor.

You saw right through that.

You made me laugh, laughed at my jokes in return, and made me feel like I was important.

You incapacitated my defenses, kicked down the walls around my heart.

‘Just friends’ is a horrible way to think of it, when really you’re what’s kept me going the whole time.

So this is what it feels like, to not have a filter, to have enough faith and love to open up entirely to someone.

It’s sleepovers and passionate rants, book recommendations and inside jokes, shared anger and interests.

I hate that tomorrow, I’ll have to come to reality.

I’ll have to pretend to not care, pretend that I want to spend my time with someone else, someone who doesn’t see me like you do.

I’ll have to solidify the walls you melted and choke my personality on its leash, until I can see you again.