my brother is

100000 times crazier

than me

he calls everyone

“ur mom” and he

calls everything

“binjaling” and he yelled

“JESUS!” into my very Muslim

grandmother’s face yesterday

he threw a flaming hot cheeto

out of the window

when we were on the highway

and he laughed when i said

that it probably hit a car or

got run over

and then proceeded to

throw ANOTHER onr outside

like, that’s littering!!

he spends his free time

rolling dice and

filming slow motion videos

of the dice rolling

he also one time told a spam number

“WHERES MY CHICKEN NUGGIES?!?!”

and after they responded

“can i send you more details?”

he sent them a GIF of a dancing bear

**like WHO does THAT??!!**

he screams in people’s ears,

always leaves his backpack at school,

and he ran after my mom’s car while

it was speeding down a hill

and worst of all?!

HE PUTS IN CEREAL BEFORE THE MILK!!!

so yeah maybe I sniff walls,

(the wood of new houses smells good!!😭)

maybe i threaten to eat my dogs

but it’s only because they’re being cute!!

and maybe i’m crazy,

but he’s CRAZY 2.0!!

😭😭😭😭