Okay I’m good

This is fine

This happens every time

Breathe in

Breathe out

Simple

Yeah but guess what?

You’re going to read those words

Your tongue will betray your eyes

Messing up your speech

The room is going to judge you

That’s something to worry about

Heart drops

Pounding out of my chest

I don’t care

I’m fine

I can speak like a normal person

No but that’s the thing

You can’t speak normal

Your voice shakes

You mispronounce every word

Sweat starting to stab me through my skin

No no no

Breathe in

Breathe out

Simple

You stumble

You fumble

You fall until there’s nothing left but a scared little girl

Who still can’t speak in front of a group of people

You’re pathetic

Air caught in my lungs

Going too fast

Going too slow

I’ve grown

I know I have

I’m an adult now

I’m not that same scared girl

I’m not

Oh yes

Yes you are

And secretly

You know it

Shaking taking over my touch

Taking over my bones

No I’m fine

No matter what you say

I know who I am

I know what I’m capable of

And I can do this

I highly doubt that

Ten minutes later

See?

I did it

I knew it wasn’t going to be that bad

Well done

But tell me

If you know it’s not that bad

How come you let me control you?

How come you let me take over you in every way possible?

I…

That’s what i thought

See you next week