“Alright, friends!” Mr Smiles exclaimed, ruddy face as cheery as his name. “Now that we’ve all introduced ourselves, it’s time for our very first activity: a nature hike in the enchanted forest! Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

No, Issy thought, rolling her eyes. It did not. She was a siren, not a troll. Clomping around on the muddy land was definitely not her strong suit, and besides, she’d just gotten brand new silver treads. And from the looks of the other campers’ dull eyes and bored mouths, she was hardly alone in her thoughts. Something had to be done.

Issy grimaced, stepping towards her camp leader. It wasn’t going to be anyone else.

“Is that really necessary, Mr Smiles?” she purred, making sure to layer her voice with as much magical charm as she could muster. “Couldn’t we just stay here and, like, play Candy Quest on our phones? Or better yet, go for a swim? It would make me so happy.”

Mr Smiles let out what Issy thought must have been an exasperated sigh, yet since he retained his friendly demeanor, it was difficult to be sure.

“Isolde,” he warned, “you know siren songs only affect sailors, pirates, and unsuspecting humans. Not gnomes.”

Issy cursed under her breath. What good was siren power anyway, if it didn’t even work when she needed it?

“Now we’ll have none of that,” Mr Smiles said, beaming. He really did live up to his name. “I’d recommend, Isolde, to go into this hike with an open mind. Maybe you’ll enjoy it!”

She highly, highly doubted it.

As she began to drag her feet toward the woods with the rest of the group, she felt someone nudge her shoulder.

“Nice try.” It was a vampire about her age, with brown shoulder length hair and a long, angled face. “I wish it worked though. I need to reapply sunscreen like, right now.” He held out his hand.

“I’m Valentino. Or, Val.”

“Issy,” she offered. “And yeah, we need to find a way to get out of this before I ruin my shoes.”

“We do.” Val nodded gravely. “If I hear one more fun fact about unicorns from Smiles, I might just turn to dust.” Issy groaned at the thought. She’d known Mr Smiles for maybe an hour, and he’d already talked her ears off about unicorns, fairies, and fauns. All the “nice” magical creatures who would never get sent to a camp like this.

“What if you pretended you were getting burnt up by the sun?” she suggested. “Oh, and at the same time, I can act like the uneven land ground was too much for me, and collapse.”

“No way that would work.”

“It’s our best bet, Val,” Issy pressed, leaning in as if telling a horror story. “Would you prefer more unicorn facts?” It was enough to convince Val in a heartbeat.

“We’re gonna run this camp,” he said, grinning with every one of his fangs. “I know it. Smiles doesn’t stand a chance.”