(Experimental rap story thing, don’t take it so seriously — it’s just practice)

It was late one night

Raining

Cold

I was five

My parents told me everything would be

fine

Parents lie

I was six

I was sick

Homeless again

We lived with some fiends

I mean friends

I was seven

She musta thought I was seventeen

Cousin and me started puffing leaves

thick as thieves

no food in the fridge so we ate the streets

knew we was nothin’ but thought we was kings

I was eight

Momma and Pops went their separate ways

Showed me to hate

Hurry and wait

Ain’t say nothing bout pearly gates

Maybe it’ll be fine in due time

I was nine

Watching the world decline

a developing mind

ain’t have a heater

we carried those knives

Stepping used sneakers

we bled out some speakers

to bandage our lives

I was ten

I promise I lived for the sin

I was a ship and hell was my wind

moved so much I didn’t have no friend

I kept in touch with my soul

by some paper and pens

scribbling letters to heaven

like, _why can’t you just let me win? _

__

__

__

I was eleven

I was perceptive

plenty of people

but nobody stepped in

plenty of need

and no one addressed it

I was twelve

when the twelve came for me

gave momma warnings ‘cause they could see misery

memories, I really wish I could forget

if I could forgive, I’d be blessed

If I could pretend it was best

the wounds would stop festering

If I could just let it be

If I could just let it breathe

If I could just not be me

I was thirteen

thirsting for the world and everything in it

I told the preacher to go bout his bidness

keep the repentance

I ain’t relentin’

If Jesus loves me tell my why life’s a menace?

Only rock I know is what my poppa bought bro

I was fourteen

foreseeing there was no way out

I played my music real low and I got really loud

every reason to bow

but I stayed real proud

Me and the bros in the back of that bus

jokin about bout how only God can judge

a night in a cell

but you wouldn’t have telled

cuffs on the wrist

really reinforced this

that I was defective

don’t need a detective

I needed protection

but I got dejection —— RIP

That’s when the Father

gave me a surprise

I swear that girl

she had life in her eyes

showed me to dream

and to not just survive

Twenty years later

I wish that drew the line

I’d say that it did

but that’d be a lie

I’ve made mistakes man,

time after time

Caused so much pain

that I know it won’t rhyme

Momma and pops told

me I would be fine,

they were right

‘Cause somewhere inside me

that boy is five

giving thanks to the Lord

He ain’t leave him behind