This is monumentous

Four years of devoted studies

Good grades

Gaining skills

Creating a network

Made some friends

not many

but that’s ok

I put my blood, sweat, and tears

into this

Mostly sweat and tears

Then why does it feel like this?

I should be excited

Or sentimental

Or something positive

I’m relieved that it’s over

I had a good time

but not a fun time

Finally no more homework

No more tests...

Years from now, my efforts to hide the fact I went to both prom and anti-prom would be in vain, when my friend—the host of anti-prom— finds a polaroid in my room I took at prom. Back then, though, I wouldn’t know that.

Who thinks about the future at prom anyways? It’s the most important night in a teenager’s life; the culmination of our final four years of youth. I heard some people complain abou...

As fire spreads

And children burn,

And men cry,

And women scream,

And elders stare

I walk down the street.

and then trees fall,

And smoke rises,

And our planet breaks just like it did to me.

So while everyone dies and hides and runs and screams

I look up in the sky, smile and say,

“ What a beautiful day”...

Pretty face and a pretty smile

Doesn’t mean I feel worthwhile

Happy happy happy

Sad Sad Sad

Angry angry angry

Mad Mad Mad

Doesn’t mean I’m never glad

Mostly means I’m always sad

THIS ONE SUXS IK 💀...

It’s my birthday happiness day of my life. Darkness hangs above. I feel a sense of loss and longing. I smile but inside I feel lonely among people like death in the soul....

There’s nothing in my brain

No feelings to explain

My creativity down the drain

Because I quieted the pain

The meds are working

But it doesn’t feel good

Because you can’t light a fire

Without any wood

So set me ablaze!

Let the old me out!

So at least I’ll have something

To write about

I wanted to get better but

This absence is stark

Feeling nothing isn’t better

I miss the dark...

As I saw my brother in the ditch, dead, I didn’t feel sad or mad for some reason. The only emotion that I was feeling, was excitement and satisfaction.

Body felt these emotions but my mind was filled with questions. Why? How? Who? What? My mind was in distress when my emotions were controlled.

I would never see my brother again because he crashed into the ditch and the only emotion i was feeli...

In den Blumen zirpts, in den Bäumen rauschts

Von innen drückts meine Brust hinaus

Die Tränen krazen mir im Hals

Dein Lachen laut über die Wiese schallt

Obschon der Frühling bald schon hier

Wird‘s kälter immer mehr in mir

Der frost droht mich zu rauben

In den Röben hangen die reifen Trauben

Die du pflückst und die so schön

Dein Gesicht rot färben, so tönt

Doch die Sonne auf dem Wasser klar

Für ...

(Sarcasm is my love language)

Happy birthday to me. Wow turning 16 is such a big deal. Well let me tell you this. It is only fun when you can drive. And fun fact, you cant drive if you just got your leg amputated.

Ya, bone cancer is super fun. And while I do agree that there is quite a but of relief not having a deadly disease in your body, it is more fun when you actually have a leg....

Valentine’s Day.

At my age, I probably shouldn't worry about romance.

And I don't.

I am not one of those people who hate Valentine's Day just because they are single and resentful. I don't care about having a boyfriend.

Still, it’s degrading not having anyone to look forward to to show me appreciation for, well, anything.

Actually, last year, I got elbowed in the nose by a random guy. Looking...