I find myself walking on the empty beach

early on dark mornings

when seagulls scream and caw and cry

and all the trash is white

I like the salt on my tongue when the night

is almost over and the sun

rises beneath a thick shroud of clouds

hidden from my blank stare....

You asked me if

You had my heart

And cried when I

Said no

That was the last

Of all the lies

It took to let

You go

To tell the truth

I’d follow you

And I’m scared that

You know

I love you, but

I was too scared—

Too scared to tell

You so...

desolate and gloomy

and happier than any laugh

that grates from a throat

that has never known tears

and screams for any end

the path winds through

the tall gray grass and

cuts the sky in two

i’ve never known a cloudy sky

to be cloudier than you...

i am but a puzzle, missing pieces

that aren’t really lost, even, just shoved

beneath the carpet, or covered with an

errant coaster, but no one tries to find them

i am but a puzzle, and all my pieces

are easily within reach, i beg please, for

someone to give me enough time for me

to be whole once more- to truly be seen...

cold is not just frost

cold is my bones, brittle

as the layer of ice on

the neighbor’s pool

i’m scared if i speak

too loudly, they’ll snap

and i’ll fall beneath

lately, my bones are cold

ice seeps through my skin

chilling me from the inside

out, and i’m running out

of warmth to give, or love

to melt in the winter...

i’m suddenly so cold

i didn’t realize you

were gone until

your warmth seeped

from the tepid air

leaving me afloat

stranded in nowhere

i cover myself with

a blanket of snow

because suddenly

i know- i’m warmer

in the cold, all alone

than i ever was in

your burning warmth

in ice, the fire crackles

and the smoke sings

here, i whisper “thank you

for nothing.”...

it came to me

like snails come to gardens

ready to consume,

and so lonely

holding a shell of burdens

heavy as a tomb

it followed me

like the wake of a sailboat

trailing like a kite

flying so free

bouncing buoys, afloat

stark against the night...

birds chirped like

frozen groans

half caught between

ice and air

bubbling to the surface

half caught between

here and nowhere

i could have sworn

the tree branch swayed

but it moved too

slow too tell

maybe if i’d never

stood up, maybe

i’d never have fell

time had never passed

so slowly...

on one long, lonely night

the stars hang frozen in the sky

and from the grass where i lie

everything looks just so right...

i whispered words that i didn’t mean

and scraped the walls of my heart’s lining

with tears that burned like acid

beauty is pain, and it’s never placid

i balanced my heart on the tip of a pin

it was unstable, god it had been

a long time coming but now i felt

i could truly call myself

the slayer of monsters...