It’s up side down, 90 degrees outside ,but 40 degrees inside . This is how the body breaks down . No heat in my work space means I have to concentrate on something other than work . All the while through the window is the sun shining bright on those lucky enough to be outside. All I can think is that will be me soon…....

He was not used to this feeling . He spent most of his life with male partners in a sexual capacity. He didn’t take men seriously, and for good reason , but this was different. He felt like this could be something. They had the same sensibilities, and more importantly the same energy when it came to

each other . The question was , could he spill his heart in a way he did not do before...

Had knots in my stomach heading to his house . An often painful reaction to the guilt I felt , but time after time , I continued, why ? The addiction to the life . It did not matter the cost to self or life , if it meant the next one , misery was all I felt ....

My legs refuse to move , I was paralyzed by what happened yesterday, the normally peaceful sounds that surrounded me , felt like an active bomb drill . My feelings can crashing like a boulder , how can this be , life was supposed to be so much different than this ....

He walks around seeing it everywhere. People look at him and see a lie . How nice it must be , he doesn’t know we know . But he gets a sense of the air being thick . The crawling feeling you get when you see a bug. Some people want to give off a scent to make him squirm. The truth is his uneasy but not broken he sees this as an old friend...

I start my day like any other day , I eat my food and do what I do , but every late morning its the same issue, I believe the uber driver is not up yo standard. Maybe I’m right , but my brain goes to a place of anger , because i am not getting what i want , so this stranger must he the issue right !!!...

It was a confusing life . So much of me wanted to love you and what you bring . Unfortunately my soul was born for something different. The shame i have felt for being different has almost caused my demise . Throught the pits of fire you have bewn a constant , my allegiance had be sworn . But my soul has called out once more and now more than ever I must go to it...