“You look wonderful.” Millions of unwanted, imaginary, feelings flood into a single sentence. I feel like an animal unable to control itself, fighting to be a man. Fighting every cell in my body to not put my arm around you or to mouth the words “I like you.” I don’t, I know I don’t, I can’t, it will kill everything we know. If I admit the feelings I seemed to have conjured in my mind what will th...

Being alone in a room full of people feeling like an alien feeling as though everyone is secretly plotting without you is defined as having impostor syndrome. The feeling that everyone is in the know but you and everyone knows that you don’t know. A man could have a deep conversation with someone tell secrets and laugh and converse know things about someone that most others don’t but it will not m...

Lust is the poison that affects so many people but I is almost invisible. It affects your every waking thought and infects your mind to the point of insanity. It is one of the seven deadly sins and is ,to me, the deadliest out of all of the sins. It creates rift between lovers and divide between friends. It shows up when you want it the least and is always there when you want it the most. Lust is ...

“I’m addicted to you.” She said softly into my ear with the promise of tomorrow in her eyes. The weight of her body made me feel lighter than air like the answer to every question can be found in a single glance. An intangible person to imagine a person with the kind of smile you only come across four to five times in your entire life. A smile that made you feel understood and welcomed every secon...

“What do you want most out of your life?” The question everyone has been asked atleast once in their life is the question I ask ask myself everyday. I of course know the answer I should say “To be a God fearing father.” That’s what I want but when I look at my actions they do not reflect my answer. I am barely a man of God I try to be close to Him but do not allow myself to suspend my disbelief en...

The innocent are often betrayed by the uncaring. Shot in the back with no chance to fight or defend themselves. Often times blank slates veiled as friends betray those who cannot fight. Predators who revel in the suffering and pointless squirming of their victims. When the innocent fight they sink deeper into the trap like the quicksand. They fall into the grasp of the reality of injustice and sta...

What separates a man from a monster? What is a monster? Is it an animal, is it evil, is it the base standard for every man or is it an every changing word? If a man can become a monster can a monster become a man? Is redemption possible for evil? A monster does not care a monster only feels hate or indifference. Any man can become a monster everyday everyone makes choices. The choice to get out of...

Life is like a sharp stick, it is difficult to balance on the top but falling off leads to the unimaginable. It seems balancing on the stick hurts more than falling but if balancing on the stick is so bad surely falling is the better option. It doesn’t seem to be however because of the fear of the unknown that follows falling. I will fall and find the bottom and make a better top....

I have started seeing people. Not in the sense of dating or in the sense of people watching. I have started seeing people who I don’t know exist I know where they live and they know where I live. They live with me and I can’t live without them. I can’t talk to them I can’t even fully see them. They live just outside of my field of vision I’m not going crazy I can’t be. I’m not scared of them at al...

To have a fear of the cold is to have a fear of absence. How can you so strongly be afraid of nothing? What is the reason to be afraid of the cold? It is not malicious it does not care and that is precisely where the fear stems from. The cold was here before anything and it will be here after everything. It does not forget, it does not forgive, it only is....