Fixated on the green kitchen tiles,

I sit perched on the chipped wooden chair.

My palm stings from the coarseness,

a reminder of what’s coming.

My fingers dig deeper.

Zoomed out of focus,

a snapshot in the making,

regret spills

from my cracked lips.

My fingers dig deeper.

A reel of memories plays back,

laughter, smiles, touches,

slamming, breaking,

screaming.

My fingers dig deeper. ...

Protective blue knit

a constant reminder of survival,

carrying me through the seasons.

Thinly threaded cuffs

that I grip tight,

picking at the frays of comfort worn thin.

Slipped on,

weighted fabric anchoring me,

stamped with the city that changed me.

New York white font,

deep blue fading.

Still, I pull it in closer.

Surviving headwinds,

soaking up the water

that threatens it.

The pul...

Weaving in and out

the thick, prickly twine

begins to take shape.

Infinity in loops,

repetition acting as a mantra

brings me comfort.

My hands move faster.

Urgency coursing through.

Patience unraveling,

thread by thread.

Time allows nothing but thought.

Movement paralyzed.

Everything still.

Except for my hands.

Restlessness presses,

a guilt-sized paperweight on my chest,

stabbing sorro...

Hailey never thought things would get this far.

When she agreed to the plan, she thought it would be the typical pledge week rituals that each one of them had to endure not too long ago.

Berating the girls until they cried, withholding food, limiting sleep, impossible requests.

It was quite the look into the human psyche - the self-rationalization one must go through to justify the means.

...