It’s not something I could name, it’s

all those I love sitting on my shoulders, whispering questions in my ears and pulling the answers out of my throat.

It’s the hooks in my lips, pinning them back to my cheeks.

It’s the ever present knife in my brow, twisting when I feel the need to speak.

It’s the cinch bag of my stomach, shooting closed in defiance whenever I consider a meal.

It’s more tha...

I was eleven

Knew less than I do now

You were thirteen

All alone, and I showed you some kindness

God, how could that go wrong

We were roughhousing

As kids do

And you pinned me to my bed

You hovered over me

God, how did you forget

You started talking about sex

And I couldn’t throw you

This is why I learned Jiu Jitsu

Because I never want this again

God, how does a kid do this

And I don’t th...

Don’t smile

Run away

And hide

Don’t laugh

Rip it out

And run

All emotion

A smoking gun

Now run

Feet pound

Gasps for air

Faster

Her darkness

Just behind

Faster than before

Heart pounding

Breaths shallow

Running harder

No emotion

Just away

Hide it all

Trees ablaze

Smoky lungs

Coughing now

Stop.

Turn around

Quick draw

The queen has fallen

Look down on your mother,

Broken boy

Look down at ...

True beauty flowers in love

And those I love are not by blood

Not bonds carefully manufactured

Not sentenced by blood in my veins

Like poppies in my garden,

Like that pumpkin in the fall,

Things I never meant to plant,

But show up all the same

I have three brothers,

Two claimed by my own beating heart,

The other by the blood it pumps,

But I love them all the same

My mother is the words I’ve re...

I’m not heliocentric

‘Cause I guess I’m Ganymede

Out here with Jupiter

And all the others that you’ve

Screwed over

Screwed up

Straight up screwed

I’m out here with Jupiter

A name in a list under yours

Finally a footnote to your glory

‘Cause you’re my Jupiter

I wish I orbited anyone else but you

But I’m stuck out here with Jupiter

Stuck out in the cold

With Io and Europa and all the others you’v...

I have fifteen tattoos, have jumped out of three planes, climbed the tallest mountains in every continent, and have been married seven times. There is only one that I regret, the one that started this whole adventure.

I warn you, it’s awful, one I regret, and I’m only telling the story because of a dare.

See, I dated a woman because of a bet, and her brother cursed me. Now I have to take every...

Know that death comes with love,

I will wipe away your tears,

Turn you away from the body you leave

Know that death comes with a price,

Not of emptiness or metaphor,

But your fare to cross the river

Know there is a place for you,

Whether you believe in fields or brimstone,

Or nothing at all

Know that your self is not a crime,

Your judgement comes with care,

And a great deal of tissues

Know t...

Every day, I break down

Whether from stress or sound

It depends on who’s around

Who’s there to guide me

When I can’t get out

Every day I break down

Mourning what could have been

I don’t mean lost relationships

I mean my lost marbles

I just want to heal

Every day I break down

The same old wounds reopening

I’m always over or undereating

Seeing faces in the walls,

Or shadows in the halls

Every ...

Nothing.

My eyes are still filled with tears, my thoughts are still full of hurt, but I feel nothing.

The tears refuse to fall, though I know they should, so I sit in the kitchen, watching the candles burn.

There’s one for every family death that’s happened on this day, plus Oscar Wilde’s. One for Lyall , from last year, one for Fang, and several more that I’m not sure I could name if I tried.

...

The world is darker than in death.

Thanatos’s skin shines like a full moon, though his wings seem to suck in all color.

His eyes were swirling pools of beauty, like the pictures from the Hubble Telescope.

It was a harsh wake up call to have him pulled from my sight, to be yanked back into reality.

I should be grateful, but I am furious. I had freedom, it was right in front of me, his hand outstre...