I am so uncomfortable with myself

I itch everywhere

In guilt

In self pity

And in my unsufferable suffering

Nothing fits me

I belong no where

Not even in my own body

I wonder if blood holds pain

How long could i lay upon a white sheet

Bleeding out all my misery

Maybe then i could finnaly feel clean?

But i am forever

A stained white sheet...

I sink into my bed

I wish I could go deeper

I beg for it to swallow me whole

The blanket holds me

I grieve, it covers

I am suffocating

In my thoughts

I am spiraling

In my notion

Turning and tossing

In a useless life

Why am I sad?

Nobody knows

I am the author

Of my own sorrow

Here in this bed

Here forever

In a cold coma

I will write me

Myself

And my deathaning persona...

I am finally dried up

The colorful soul is now dull

A polluted and drained tree

A ghost now haunting itself

I am no longer free

No longer me

Wings that lay

Water that suffocates

A book that painfully unwrites itself

A poem that has no meaning

I am tired of pretending

You wanted my eyes never to blink

You liked it when mouths

Served only one purpose

I held your controlling finger

You loved me lik...

I want to feel nothing

Not even the tickle of wind

Brushing against my cut up skin

Not even excitement

Laughter

Or happiness

Because it all fades away

Some time

Somwhere

Its just a matter of when

When the good finnaly tears

When the rope holding me tight

Finnaly wears

I want to feel nothing

Not even something

Just

Nothing....

You have two tastes

When Appeased

You are honey

Sweet and loving

Honey masks the vinegar

That seeps inside you

Only for a little while

But on my taste buds

You sit too long

I taste you

Hidden sourness

Bittersweet, impureness...

You are my hair tie

I slip you on pleasantly

But after awhile

You pull too tightly

And rub against

Unwanted places

And when you've had

Enough of me

You leave me in despair

With split ends

And broken hair...

I hate my heart

Resentment fills it

And a crap ton of sadness

Sadness you may call "dramatic"

And yes, maybe I am

Maybe I feel too much

I feel me

I feel you

And a random person on the street

I feel pain I dont see

To see how much I bleed

To uncover the real me

Im sorry I burst out with

Coldness

And Anger

But is it so much danger

To instead overly feel

Than silently quaver?...

I wish I were those leaves

Flowing freely in the air with no care

Laughing in the wind with pretty colors

Glowing from all around them

I wish I could fit in

But instead, I fall from the air

Wishing I weren’t there

And instead giving a care

A care into every little wind that blows my way

Even if it wasn’t meant to swift past me

I care too deeply others say

I feel too much every day

One word c...

My heart burns

The bottle stares into my soul

As if it is slowly moving towards me

The addiction wont give up easily

It knows me

All my doubts and fears

I try my best to resist

But still, the addiction persists

Like a hungry tiger

It pounces taking no prisoners

I shamefully give in

To a long suffering addiction

I hate what it does to me

But mostly what it does to those I hold close

I am guilt...

I am a open book

I let all close enough read

I reveal my smudged ink

Between my crumbled sheets

Even when im ashamed

I let you feel relieved

Some pages stick, unseen

Its a temporary weed

But you've glued your pages from me

So many plot holes

So many "You dont need to knows"

Do I need to know?

Because I care

Because I share

It isnt fair

I let you tear

I wish you told me

The secrets kept only b...