“Please allow me to demonstrate. “ Dr. MurderDeath growled as his body began to adopt its viscous plasma form.

“Oh, No” yelled Good Guy Man,”he’s becoming the Doom Ooze!”

Dr. MurderDeath/Doom Ooze shoots and undulating green tentacle out toward Good Guy Man’s talking dog sidekick, TalkDog.

“What out, TalkDog,” yelled Good Guy Man.

But it was too late.

The Doom Ooze’s doom punch incapacited...

I see nothing. A vast empty void staring back at me. I want to go into it. I feel afraid and deferential to it. The void is like my father....

So basically this creature cries when its being attacked. Like it starts bawling and everyone feels really uncomfortable because they started the fight and now they’re making it seem like they’re the victim....

It’s like a regular guy but he’s mean to children and his mom. He litters and chews with his mouth open. He only takes pennies from those take-a-penny-leave-a-penny dishes. He doesn’t tip. He refers to women as femoids unironically. He livestreams. He doesn’t vote but he loves Elon Musk. He took out a second mortgage to buy cybertruck. He calls himself a MAGA Communist....

So, I have this friend named Kyle. And everybody said that I was making him up because I said he had nine arms and was a thousand years old and that he didn’t want to come to school with me because he’s shy about not being able to read. But then, three of the big kids were like making fun of and they were like “Jimmy wets the bed.” But, I don’t. I don’t wet the bed. I havent wet the bed since like...

“Are you dumb?”

Kelly blinks blankly at the older woman in line behind her. Stammers trying to think of a clever retort.

“Are you dumb?” The lady repeats stepping forward.

Kelly is anxious. She’s never been in a bodega before. In Ohio, they had to make their own sandwiches and no one had heard of a bacon egg and cheese.

She looks to cook for help. “Look,” he says in a thick Brooklyn accent,...

9am. Target.

You always end up here on Saturday morning don’t you.

Saying you’re going to the gym.

But the route you usually take was under construction so you had to go a different way.

Take a sharp left turn away from the interstate and toward the lattice of one way surface streets named after dead presidents.

Lincoln. Taft. Garfield. Taft again because the neighbors petitioned to chan...

The invitation came to you in the beak of a crow. The envelope was heavy and cream and busted in blood red lettering was your name. You open it and outfalls a card and two gold coins. The card says in bright, happy letters:

“You are cordially invited to Hades’ first birthday.”

When you arrive at the party, you are greeted at the door by Eurydice. She smiles shyly and tales your coat. You feel s...