“Now now now, wait just a second” The former Navy officer general spoke, “you are here, telling me, that I am an anime girl with big titties?!?”

“You’re really tellin me, that when I look inside your lil IKEA mirror, your saying that I will be a anime girl with big ol titties?!?”

“Nah I don’t believe a word” she said in a small and timid, but clearly irritated voice

“Wait, but when I stomp my f...

Granite Bathroom Funtime

Chicken wings used to be able to fly

And now they’re not so skinny

And we’re the reason why

Also, come down to our bathrooms

We’ll have Funtimes and make memorable memories! In the bathrooms!

Of the granite brewery!...

Clutter to the brim Overload of clutter and stuff She walks in and she can’t smell it Or hear anyone telling her to clean it That is her room and, even the walls stink like how she feels. Not who she used to feel.

Pile pile pile pile pile piles of piles of piles Of clothes and “that’s my business” “It’s all Organized Clutter” she’ll say

She’ll waste a day away in that room. She’ll go outside, l...

I smile at them and they smile at me! People are the best, that you’ll see! And they’ll tell me hello and I’ll say the same happily! Meeting a new friend is absolutely free!...

Okay so basically I was having a great silly night awhile back and wrote a very terrible poo-related story. How do I remove stories from the public’s eye? Please comment. When I figure out how to remove writing from the public this will be gone....

“But we’re just emotions!”

“Why can’t we be more?”

“What do you mean? This is all we’ve ever been why would anyone want more than this?” They look out the glassy eyes of you. You’re trying to decide what to write in your journal.

“But why can’t we have emotions too? Why can’t we be anything more than compliant or confused? I want to be the one deciding what to write in my journal.”

“No you do...

“Sargent, where is your daily poop check? I haven’t seen it in the list for weeks. Is something wrong?”

“Yes.”

“Sargent, you know I like you, but I need those poop checks, or else I’ll have to punish you.”

“Yes General. I know.”

“So…”

Sargent sadly and begrudgingly pulls out a small piece of paper from his back pocket. He hands it to the General with a sigh.

sighs “No poops sir”

“No poo...

Oh.

So you’re dead. And it’s over. And you’re dead.

You’ve live years and have travelled miles and miles, you’ve told stories that you’ve lived and you’ve smiled and smiled.

All just to end up here, in this casket, in this cemetery, in front of me and nobody else.

And I never really knew you, but the thought of nobody at your funeral made me feel gross. That’s why I’m here, for you but mostly...