WRITING OBSTACLE

Write a dialogue scene that opens with a creative insult.

(Without using foul language!)

Cleanup on Aisle 5

Writing Prompt: June 16 - "Write a dialogue scene that opens with a creative insult. (Without using foul language!)"


Scene opens at a checkout lane at a grocery store.


Sonia, the cashier is working through a conveyor full of groceries for customer Celine, who just finished a conversation about the height of the grass blades after the cutting this week, and what should be done to punish the landscape crew for waiting to blow all the grass off the patios after all the cutting is done at the end of the day, rather than yard-by-yard.


Sonia (S): You volunteer to head up an HOA, don't you?

Celine (C): Why, actually, yes! That's so funny! How did you know?

S rolls her eyes and continues scanning the groceries as they come down the conveyor.

S: Just a feeling


C: I'm the Oak Manor Estates HOA President! I must just have that aura of leadership about me. I swear, the community is so fortunate to have a dedicated team, including yours truly. Otherwise, it'd be chaos and dandelions everywhere!


S looks blankly at C, she happens to enjoy dandelions - they're great for medicinal purposes and she enjoys their un-killable bright yellow spots of color speckling her lawn at home.


C does not notice S's raised eyebrow and curled lip and prattles on


C: You know, just the other day we had a resident actually suggest that we needed to look to encourage more - how did she put it - "natural" properties - for the benefit of fireflies?! Can you imagine? Well, right away, I knew that wasn't going to work. Apparently for the swarms to breed, she wanted us to limit our exterior lighting, allow puddling in yards, and allow areas of grass to just... GROW!


S just nods as she scans the third can of Kidney beans. She's tuning C's droning out.


C: Not on my watch. No Siree! Not having our whole street turn into a meadow jungle just so that she can have her insect infestation! It gives me chills just imagining it. Ugh!


S: Mhmm... Card or Cash?


C: It's bad enough that the Smith's on the corner leave their bins to "air out" overnight and that the Wilmar's across the way sit in their garage on that obnoxious old... well, you can barely call it a couch... mildewed lump of upholstery. And the Carter's! They actually petitioned the board to allow them to maintain a vegetable garden in their front yard - in broad view of everyone who drives through! Absolutely not. Last thing we need are rednecks and corn stalks - let alone hundreds of bugs!


S: pauses and holds C's bag of Sweet Yellow Corn Cobs pointedly. she waits to see if C will notice. C does not notice. S shrugs and scans them... twice. It's the small battles.


C: Anyways, I just believe that it's the high standards that we hold ourselves to that makes all the difference. It's all about maintaining the value, you know! And that's good for everyone!


S: Sure is! Everyone who can afford it, anyways. Here's your receipt. Have a great day!


C eyes S suspiciously.


C: I'm not sure I like your attitude, young lady. You're in a service capacity. Why don't you smile and try to be pleasant?


C scoffs and walks away muttering to herself about kids these days.


S pauses again to look after C. Who really says that to another human being? She turns to the next customer in line.


S: Hi, find everything you needed ok?


Natalie (N): Yep! Found that lady's marbles too. Looks like she lost them on aisle 5 near the bugspray.


S & N share a good laugh. C hadn't gotten far enough away to be out of earshot and she watches them over her shoulder, clearly angry that she's the subject of their joke.


Scene closes.







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