You fear what you are,

What you have been.

You change and change

And force yourself through

Vicious cycles of

Destruction and reconstruction.

You long to leave yourself behind,

The true you,

But who are you now?

Do you recognize the face

In the mirror

With the sunken, empty eyes

And the half-hearted, artificial smile

That you’ve fought so hard

Just to maintain,

Just to hate day after day?

Do you know what defines

You?

Or have you lost that sense,

That long-forgotten

Sense of self,

That you strived to save?

You wander past mirrors,

Face obscured,

Your life perpetually doused

In varying levels

Of disguise.

Your idea of you,

The one you’ve known

For so long,

The one that has always been

A lie veiled as truth,

Is nothing more than

An idealized fantasy

Of the person you wish

You could be.

But you are not that person,

And so you hide,

Not from a monster,

But from you,

The real,

Damaged and abandoned

You.