you hurt like chain whips lashing over your back

you hurt like a punishment

you hurt like death

so i smile like sunshine

so i hold your hand in the dark

and i kiss your words better

every night

i shake like a leaf in the wind

and when my head hits the pillow my eyes

don’t close

you hurt like ice, frigid and black

you hurt like a noose

you hurt with no room for me to hurt

you hurt with feelings too big and tears too heavy

you hurt and i sit with you

and i smile enough

for both of us

because you can’t light your eyes at all

i take care of you but

who takes care of me

who has my happiness, when i

can’t sleep and i can’t cry because i’ve forgotten

how to feel

and my feelings don’t feel big enough

but hurting feels like hands on my neck

and silence in my head

and stinging thighs

i wish someone would smile for me

and hold me up when it hurts to breathe

feed me and wash my hair and help me stand

when i hurt like fire

hot

hot fear

i’m supposed to be

happy

for her

but i wish

you could

just

forget me in silence

id rather stay

lost in you

memories

than be another dream

your pretty eyes

can’t

escape