I’m kind because I have to be.. believe me in this place you can hardly get by without a smiling face.

“Your smile is gorgeous” is what I hear constantly on a day to day

Why can’t I be mean today? Why am I so kind I rather be bitter like a lemon or lime. Tart like a bad wine, but no instead I’m sweet like honey. My husband wonders how we get all this money.

“Your kindness and smiles light up my day for you I’ll give it all away” Is what I hear constantly as if there brainwashed by my kindness.

I recall when I was little and out 2 feet tall my mother showed me something I thought was appalling. We went out shopping and her kindness was alluring to many

“My dear your kindness is sweeter than honey, surely you wouldn’t mind if I offer my money” my mother just smiled and flashed her charm

Giggling and patting his arm

“No no I couldn’t that would be to much please, you don’t have to do that” her voice was sweet but I knew better

Poor man didn’t know better he thought he was better.

“I insist please miss it’s the least I can do” he said not able to see through..

Through the facade, my mother showed me how to lure people in with a smile and sure for a while I myself was in denial. This isn’t right.. how do you sleep at night?

“Kill them with kindness my little lovey” she’d say with a hum as she’d hug me.

I loved my mom. I did but she made me into a monster. So now fast forward to today why can’t I be mean? Have myself a holiday, rest my face let my smile frown calm my eyes and let it all go. But deep down I know the people need my joy. Without me they would feel empty inside so I push the feelings aside and smile brightly.

“Thank you so much!”

“Your so sweet”

“Look at the bright side-“

A constant positivity as I let the other people see the good in me. Maybe tomorrow I’ll take a different approach..maybe I’ll talk to mom see how I can let these feelings go. Mom was always good at this type of stuff, almost like she loved it.Maybe she did.. I was just a kid.