My fingers curled around the pen in my hand, as I pushed it onto the paper. I drew a flower next to my message that read, “until we meet again.”

My heart races as I rip the paper out of the notebook, and fold it up into a tiny square. I grab the same pen from before, and write ‘To: Asher, From: Steph (aka, Stephanie), and put it inside an envelope. My heart burns with excitement, and I stand up, grabbing my back pack, hanging it over my shoulders, the note still in my grip.

Asher. The one man I’ve been eyeing since like eighth grade, was finally talking to me. Yesterday on the bus he said, “hey.” And what did I do? I stuttered over a few words, and decided to just shutup at that point. He’s not going to understand. “Wanna come to my party?” He says, an awkward look on his face. “Uhh… I would… love too.” I forced a smile, already thinking about what I was going to wear. How I was going to do my hair. And should I, or I should I not wear underwear?

“Great. Party’s on Friday.” He said, and the bus stopped. He got up, didn’t even wave me goodbye, or even say ‘later, dude.’ He just jumped off the bus, and nonchalantly walked up the steps of his home. I didn’t care, nor did I mind. He… talked… to me. I mean, all the other girls at school are literally obsessed with him. I think I am too. He’s got pretty blonde hair, and the deepest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. His smile could light up concerts, and bring peace to the world. His body? Oh, girl don’t get me started. The girls he’s slept with have always said he was good in bed.

Today, was Wednesday. I had lipgloss on, and my eyelashes done. My older sister, Destiney had told me not to go too far with the makeup, so I decided to keep it at a minimum. My hair was in a regular ponytail. I wanted to be casual when I saw Asher again. You know… in case he actually does talk to me again.

Nobody gets it. This man looks like he fell out of the heavens. His skin is so smooth-looking, I wish I could touch him. Or maybe run my fingers through his beautiful blonde hair.

Once I was done putting my shoes on, I stepped out the door, and a few minutes later, I stepped onto the bus.

I walked to the back, where I normally sit, and where Asher is across from me.

As usual, he was sitting in his seat, and I sat in mine. I stared at him. The note was still in my hand. I stared. Studied him. His nose twitched once. His hand reached for his phone, and typed in his password. From the looks of it, it seemed to be ‘1738’. What was he doing? Who was he texting? Was it Jace? His stupid, and annoying ‘homeboy’ who definitely doesn’t do shit behind his back? Or was it that slut Amy, who’s constantly having another guys junk in her mouth?

My eyes darted to his phone, and—

Oh. It’s just a video from his parents, Laura, and Derek.

How do I know his parents names? I stalk him a lot on Facebook.

Almost as if he could sense my obvious staring, he turns his head in my direction. I see him raise an eyebrow, and quickly, I pretend like I’m lost in thought.

“Hey, uh… Stella, or whatever your name is, can you quit starin’?” He said, his voice sounding husky, and rough like always. I felt butterflies in my stomach, and I blinked twice. “Sorry. Zoned out. It’s Steph, by the way.” I said, with a nod pretending to be embarrassed.

What was it about Asher? He just seemed so charming. He’s so my type. I’ve never liked anyone more than I’ve liked Asher. Sure, he got my name wrong but he is in love with me. Otherwise, why would he ask a lame like me to go to his party? And why did I feel slightly jealous of Amy? I mean, her and Asher are the most on and off couple I’ve ever seen.

I hate her. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

God, she pisses me off.

She doesn’t deserve him. He’s too good for her.

I idolize him. I’m obsessed with him. I’m who he wants.

Once the bus stops, and we get off I see him run off toward that bitch Amy. They’re arguing right now.

Shit. Did he find out Amy cheated again? She sort of does that, you know?

It’s like that bitch can’t leave good enough alone.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, a strand that seemed to have escaped my ponytail.

I drag myself to actually walk inside this stupid, intolerable school.

I put my stuff in my locker, only taking my diary, and holding it to my chest like it was some prized possession. Because it is.

“Oh, look who it is.” I internally groaned, and turned around to see that bitch Amy. I smiled at her. Just like I always did when she threw something my way. I smiled at everyone. I’m a good person. I am. I truly can’t be evil.

“Hello, Amy.” I smiled even more. I wish I could get rid of her. I wish she’d leave me alone. I just wish she’d shutup. I can make her shutup. But I can’t, not without resources.

No. No, I can’t say that. Dear diary, what is wrong with me?

“Apparently Asher invited you to his party, Friday,” Amy began, her sultry voice irritating my ears. “I told him you’re uninvited.” She finished, and I couldn’t help myself but smile wider. She did… what? How could this be? How could she do this! Who does she think she is? Amy isn’t half the woman I am. Amy is a slut. Amy is a whore, who gets on all fours for white dudes, and cowboy hats. Her and Asher broke up twelve times, and he kept going back. No. I was going to this party. Whether Amy liked it or not.

“I don’t remember it being your rules.” I said, my voice not wavering, my smile plastered on my face like a damn chucky doll.

Her eyes narrowed at me, no sweetness. No darkness either, I mean honestly does she think she can scare me? I can do worse. She should be scared of me, not the other way around.

“You’re not going. Period.” She said, trying to give me her meanest look, which didn’t go so well for her. I shrugged, and walked past her my diary still in my arms.

—

That Friday, my mom and I went to go look at dresses. Yes… I know it was super late, but I had to take care of my brother for the whole week so I didn’t have time.

“What about this one?” My mother said, holding up a silver dress with ugly rhinestones. I shook my head.

I may or not have told my mom that Asher was my date to this party. And now she wants to find me a pretty dress. Well, she quickly moved from the pretty dresses to the slutty ones after I said no to quite a few.

“What about this?” My mother said, and I looked the dress up and down. It was a royal blue dress, that’s pure temptation wrapped in silk. It looks tight in all the right places, and it’s definitely sexy. I grab it and put it into the cart. “I’m definitely wearing this. Imagine how Asher feels when he sees it!” I said, all excited and jumpy as we went to the cashier. My mother swiped her card, and we said ‘have a good day’ to the cashier, and left.

My mother had to help me put this dress on, it felt really tight around my curves but I didn’t mind it.

—

When I entered the party I expected all eyes to be on me. Not on Amy. Everyone was waving at her, telling jokes, and I even saw one guy try to grab her ass. Where’s Asher at a time like this?

“Hey.” I turned thinking it was Asher calling for me. Instead, it was Kaden. “You’re Steph, right?” He said, smile wide on his face.

I nod, slightly skeptical of what this all was. Where’s Asher?

“Follow me.” He said, and didn’t even wait for a response before he started walking through the crowd of people. I followed him as fast as I could, but each time he’d disappear into the crowd, and I’d have to find him again.

Finally, I reach him outside. There’s a big pool, and when I look up I see Asher, Kaden, and Carter.

“What’s this?” I say, and suddenly, Kaden and Carter pick me up, and carried me toward the pool. “Hey—what are you doing!” I said, already cold as it is in this dress. “Asher! Get your friends!” I yelled, as they held me up higher in the air.

“Sorry, sweetheart. At least my friends aren’t obsessed with me.” And suddenly, I’m being thrashed into the water. Air bubbles coming from my mouth and nose, and I swim my way to the surface. Asher, Kaden, and Carter are all gone.

I can’t believe it. Why would Asher and his friends do that? I crawled out of the pool, anger filling every inch of my body. I hear Amy’s stupid annoying voice from inside, laughing and probably doing crack.

“God, she’s such a loser. I bet tomorrow she’ll still drool over you like a lost puppy.” My eyes shot up, and immediately I ran inside. “Amy, you—“ I began, and cut myself off. I have a better idea. A much, much better idea.

“What? What are you gonna do?” Amy didn’t even try defending herself, or telling me the words she said weren’t true. Because Amy is an evil bitch. All she’s ever been is evil, and now I’m going to get rid of that evil.

My frown turns into something else. I calm my face, and smile. “It’s fine.” I reply, and I inch over towards the food table, grabbing a knife and sauntering back to Amy. “Everything’s fine.” I shrugged, and kept smiling.

Amy rolls her eyes, and that’s when I lunge for her. I stab her once in the chest, and twice in the face before Kaden pulls me off of her, everyone screaming. But everyone’s screaming sounded like screeching in my ears. My head was hot. Everything was blurring itself out of my vision, and suddenly I woke up.

Fuck. I forgot I was still in this stupid cell. It’s been eleven years. Eleven. I get up from my bed and lift the mattress, grabbing a cigarette and a lighter. Good thing the guards are stupid, or they would’ve find this awhile ago.

Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like. To go back to that night, and get Asher too.