You could have knocked me over with an emery board when I found out I’d won the lottery for the Kardash Procedure.

Complete regeneration from head to toe. My 40-year-old body would become the picture of youth, smooth, wrinkle free, cellulite free, my sagging breasts once again pert, my turkey bagged arms firm and muscular.

It was great at first. When I woke up with my new body.

Of course there were trade-offs. My new body is indestructible so I don’t need to feel or sense anything. Unable to respond to sensuality, I have no further need for love or affection. Nourishment comes from a tube inserted in my stomach as I can no longer taste anything. All in all, a good trade off.

My YouTube profits are off the charts!