“Am I quiet? Or do you just never try to listen?” Jaelyn burst out. As soon as those toxic seeds of doubt were spread, she was desperate to pluck out the weeds. This wasn’t her, she would never say something so inconsiderate to one of her only friends, and surely the only one who ever understood her. But she couldn’t uproot them until the vile sprouts had truly taken their stance.

But the anguish on Adeline’s face made her regret it. “You know I didn’t mean it that way, Jae, you’re just more introverted than I am, that’s all. Tell me you know that. You know I would never not listen to you.”

“And what if I don’t? I’ve hardly even seen you at all ever since you got a boyfriend—“

“So this is about Elliott now? I can’t believe this. Look, I know—“

“Now you’re interrupting me! Please just listen. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. I get that he’s more important to you right now. I knew this would happen eventually, and it was idiotic of me to blame you for that.” She turned around, unable to bear Adeline’s grief-stricken eyes begging her to listen. It felt as though she would never stop listening in patient silence, desperate for some connection. “Have fun on your date.”

“Jaelyn, stop that right now. No one is more important to me than you, Elliot’s just… a different kind of important. But it makes me sick when you lie to yourself and act like I don’t love you.”

Her tears felt like a cool evening dew after years of relentless drought. She was shivering, an abandoned, decrepit creature who somehow still held faith in love. She forced herself to try to muster an iota of strength or rage, a memory of the blaze that once waged wars over her heart. “Well maybe… maybe I just can’t— dammit.” She wiped her hand across her face. Her lungs seemed to keep contracting, inward and inward, breaking her voice into a pathetic cry. “I can’t lose you.”

She was fraught with unsaid words, bubbling in dissatisfaction. You’re all I have. I’m not anyone if I’m not Adeline’s best friend, so what happens when I feel you slipping away, ever so slowly and inevitably? I can’t live without you. God, I’m selfish for wanting to deserve you, for daring to think we would always be this close.

Suddenly Adeline’s arms were around her, enclosing her in a warmth that rivaled the abyss that threatened to consume her. She smelled like flowers and home, subtly loving yet unwavering in strength. Jaelyn felt another pang of guilt that she was getting tears on Adeline’s shirt.

“I’m sorry.”

“No.” Adeline’s voice was firm, but Jaelyn still meant her apology. She meant more than that. I’m sorry for the crying, for yelling at you, for when I was late to you birthday in sixth grade. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry I didn’t think you were there for me.

“I love you too.” Jaelyn whispered, feeling whole and broken all at once.

But at least she was feeling.

☆.𓋼𓍊 𓆏 𓍊𓋼𓍊.☆

Sorry if the ending is rushed, but hope you enjoyed! Hopefully I’m able to post at least once a week now that I’m semi-adjusted to the school schedule again.

Love yall!! ❤️🩷🫶🎶✨

QOTW: what’s your LEAST favorite school subject?

Normally I’d say math but I feel like my teacher this year is better and actually teaches us instead of expecting us to know things we haven’t even been taught yet, so it isn’t that insufferable anymore lol. Long rant short, I honestly don’t even know how I’d answer my own question 😭