A while ago she broke up with me,

And I don't know why.

Was it because I worked too many night shifts?

Was it because of all my trauma that showed up at night?

Did I drive her away with my anxieties around my finances?

Was it the frequent episodes of newborn wakefulness?

Was it too many nights of bing watching shows in the dead of night?

She never said anything.

It was a slow ghosting.

I noticed her presence less and less,

Until one day it hit me like a freight train.

She was gone and

Without her, I would surely go mad.

I tried to conjole her back into my life.

I got rid of all my bad habits.

I got back in shape with exercise.

I meditated to deal with my anxieties.

I went to therapy to deal with my past traumas.

I took medications to help with my mood swings.

I got rid of the night shift jobs.

The babies grew up and were no longer night time disrupters.

I sent her messages letting her know all the changes I had made.

She didn't respond to a single one.

I begged her to come back,

Crying, snot running down my face,

Eyes puffy and red.

But she did not respond to any of my plea.

Her heart had turned to stone.

She wasn't coming back.

Sleep, my old lover,

How I miss you so.