“It should have been me!”

“It should have been me!”

I cry and cry as I try and fall asleep.

They’re pulling me away, 

pushing us apart,

shattering the pieces of my already-broken heart.

They’re dragging me off.

I dig in my heels and I grip on so tight.

I promise I didn’t leave you without a fight.

I remember your touch, 

the feel of your skin,

still warm beneath my fingertips.

I remember your lips,

their taste, their warmth.

I didn’t even give you a goodbye kiss

I remember your arms,

keeping me safe, strong and steady

and I miss you already.

“I wish it was me!”

“I wish it was me!”

I sob and sob as I watch you bleed.

My hands are stained crimson,

my tears are red, too,

and all of it, all of it…

all of it is for you.

Because it should have been me.

I fall to my knees,

but they pick me back up

and they lug me along.

As if my cries are no more than a song.

I feel empty.

With no you, there is no me.

My arms are outstretched,

my hands are holding a ghost,

the ghost of the one I love most.

I watch as you disappear,

fade away from my view,

but I could never forget you.

I squeeze my eyes shut,

looking for sleep,

looking for peace,

thinking, thinking,

it should have been me.