Summer break is supposed to be a holiday to have fun, but my brain takes it as time to turn off. I am not joking. I am sitting here thinking it’s a Tuesday when it’s actually Thursday. My mom says it’s completely normal, but that doesn’t mean she is going to let me sit around in a trance. That’s why I am sitting here about to go to 6th grade, but I am doing polynomials as homework. Even though I don’t know how to do polynomials…

I don’t know how I am getting through this stuff cause I am not a nerd. Like I am a straight B’s student. I got an 85 on fractions last year, so how did I get a 95 on polynomials? Welp, who cares?Honestly, my mom acted like it was complicated normal, last year she would have taken me out for ice cream, or doubled my allowance for a week, but now it’s like if I got a B she would have cut my allowance for the week. Like, AHEM???

(Friday) Ugh my dog is walking soooooo slow he can’t figure out how to use his 5th leg. I was trying to make it to the dog park, but at this rate we’ll never get there. Finally I see the “Floating Poodle” which signifies that the dog park is about to arrive. When we get there, I see a bunch of dogs, all of which are struggling to do normal tasks, ‘cause of their 5th leg. Wait a second… Don’t dogs have 4 legs???

(Saturday) You know what I’ve noticed? No? Okay I’ll just tell you. The older art is, the more intricate and hard to create it is. Like art nowadays could be a scribble made by a baby who poops in diapers, and can’t say the word art. The reason I have noticed this is because I took my parents to the local art gallery. My parents are now bored and start begging me to go buy them ice cream from the store across the street. I give in to their whining when my dad gets down and starts banging his fists on the floor, ‘cause I don’t want to make a scene. Now they are intently licking their mango and chocolate dollies. ( The ice cream kind, not the doll kind) Now I’m craving some ice cream too. Wait aren’t my parents supposed to get me some ice cream…

(Sunday) Ok this is starting to get out of hand my dad’s boss is telling me that I am not fit to work this job unless I can finish this project by the end of this week. Like of course I’m not fit for this job, I’m legit an 11 year old kid. Like duh. It’s like I’ve stumbled into a wormhole that led me to another dimension.(The gods of science start laughing nervously) I am stumbling into the car when I realize I’m in the front seat. Then I realize I’ve got to drive the car. My foot can barely reach the accelerator.(I’m not a very tall 11 year old) I scoot down so that I can reach, then I reverse out of the parking lot. I’m driving home when I realize that I’m craving coffee, so I pull in the driveway of a gas station to grab a quick coffee.

When I get home my dad comes to me and asks me to make him some instant mac and cheese. Ughhhhh I’m so tired, so I ignore him and sink into the couch. I wonder if I’ll ever stumble out of this dimension and back into my own. That’s when I hear my mom yell, “NOAH, WAKE UP YOU HAVE BEEN SLEEPING FOR 17 HOURS!”