No, not here again

Why here out of all places?

Why can’t I go somewhere where I can be happy?

Isn’t that what a dream is?

To go somewhere that’s beyond this world

That’s supposed to disconnect me from reality

From all of my problems

It doesn't remind me of them

I’m always taken aback here

In this terrible place

In this terrible forest

When it was at dusk

In complete silence

Being very alone

Just as alone as when I was there

When I was only seven

When I was a young, curious, wild boy

A young, curious, wild boy with his dad

Out in the woods, doing weekly nighttime hikes

With my dad and me going up the mountains

My dad is always going down, and I'm going up

Up the mountain

So high that I would see the sun set

That I would see all the long, thin trees

So high that I didn’t see my dad anymore

It was a game we played for so long

A game that neither of us ever won

Until one day, my dad won

My dad was so far away

I couldn’t even see him

All I could see was the sun setting

The night coming

The long, thin trees are all so tall

I couldn’t see my dad, not at all

But for some reason, I thought he was kinda happy about that

Hoping that after going up the mountains

So many times when he would go down

And me going up

Eventually, he would be so far away, he would be gone

Gone from the woods

Gone from where I can look at him

Gone from my life

Leaving me alone

All alone in the woods

Not forever, though

I was found and taken care of just fine

But to still know that about my dad

Especially now as a man

Who always has dreams of seeing those trees

Being on top of that mountain all by myself

Pains me so deeply and makes me feel lost