TW: suicide, alcoholism. For my dad 💛

He’s the dad in a family of four But he thinks he’s alone In this wood-shaded yellow house with Black shutters Where he’s lived for Over 50 years Because his wife and kids didn’t appear Until after The horror Of what happened here

The tragedy started with optimism
Irish immigrants Two architects designing a new life Full of love, trips to the beach and ambitions to thrive His dad liked rugby and Model trains His mom liked porcelain teacups, flowers and to paint She was proud of him She drank, but didn’t drive

Mr. Americana He went to the local public school All-city athlete, popular, handsome Played the sax, was classically cool His mom took pictures before prom And then went off to college To embrace a future that He was ready to rule

But every time he’d come home
He’d find her vodka Stashed under cushions And he didn’t want to pry But it happened more And more So then he had to come home For good To watch his mother Turn yellow and Willingly Die

And then a few years later Still reeling Still trying not to cry He found his father On the floor Of the garage Apparently suffocated From the pain of losing her Dead Without even a note Saying goodbye

Prematurely orphaned He inherited the house but Who could imagine that he would stay That’s way too much right? How could someone live In a place of so much pain? The site of two parent suicides Why the reminder? What is there possibly to gain?

But to others’ astonishment He bought out his sister And made this wood-shaded yellow house with Black shutters Again his home

He started his new family here Where he chose to be a father Where he and his wife Remodeled the kitchen Put up tons of new pictures Installed a new modern fancy stereo And they tend to his mom’s beloved garden Planting flowers and fixing fences So their young son and daughter can freely roam

How did he do this? He kept the house and opened the shutters But he keeps the door to the pain shut

His sadness simmers He has a rule against sad movies
And has a bit of a temper But otherwise He’s a loving and involved parent
At every soccer game The life of every party Always on-the-go To his new family, his parents are a mystery If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t know

So today, somehow he’s ok
He hides in the silver lining and bright side And doesn’t often brood

But if he does need a moment His family knows if they need to find him In their wood-shaded yellow house with Black shutters They can probably bet

That he’s just in the garage Having a quiet moment Alone Playing with his dad’s model train set