i hate to admit it

but it’s getting harder to ignore

the twinge of hurt

in my chest every time

i see you guys together

when you walk close but don’t hold hands

and then share the side walk

but there’s so much space

when you smile but not truly smile

i don’t know what to think

i just know it hurts

it hurts when you’re with her

i don’t know

how much longer

i can take watching you two

maybe i just won’t

three more games

and Metlife

and then the seasons over

but when i think of that

there’s a sinking pit in my stomach

i’m not ready for it to be over

to become strangers again

until next year at least

but i can’t stand to watch you fall in love

with someone who isn’t me,

because i’ve spent every last goddamn wish

wishing i could be yours

i spent my freaking birthday candles

on you

and the world didn’t listen,

i guess.

but i won’t sit and watch you

love her

and struggle myself,

even if that means

i’m stuck kissing and hugging

someone i don’t want to,

all because

they aren’t tou