The lights were still on inside as I unlocked the door- click. I staggered inside, licking my dry, chapped lips.

“Elena!” The instant shriek of ever-familiar motherly wrath. She came hurdling into the front room, wrapped in her nightgown. “Where the hell have you been?”

“I…” What could I say? Nothing could make it any worse, at least… “I can explain.”

“Explain? You can explain? Jesus Christ, Elena, you were drinking, weren’t you? What else were you doing? How can you explain it? What could you possibly have to say for yourself? We trusted you to hang out with your alleged new school friends until eleven p.m., and you stay out until three in the morning, and come home reeking of goddamn alcohol! And pot, too! Jesus Christ! What do you have to say for yourself?”

I looked down, my face slack, blank, pale. What could I say? I didn’t have any excuse. I was drunk and stoned- I couldn’t talk my way out of that crap.

“I dunno.” Why the fuck do you say that? “I went home. And I went to this party.”

“Home? You went home?” She screamed, flailing her arms up in the air like a flapping chicken, trying to fly. “This is your home, Elena! We moved here to start over, not for you to go running back to that place! On a Monday! After your first day of school! You have to be at school in four hours! You can’t go to school- the second day of school- when you’re fucking hungover!”

“I know, Mom, believe me, I know I fucked up bad, but-”

“You are never leaving this house ever again! Do you hear me? Never! You are staying home from school tomorrow! You’re grounded until you’re twenty-fucking-five, do you understand me, Elena? Do you understand?”

I nodded and rubbed my temples, which were ringing and screaming still. “I’m really sorry, Mom. I meant to come home on time, but…”

“I don’t wanna hear your excuses! Go to bed right now, young lady! Right now!” She was beginning to cry at this point, tears of a terrified, livid mother.

“Can I shower first, please?”

“Yes! Go take a shower!” She exhaled a shaky breath, wiping furiously at her tears, and shuddered her way into the kitchen, where James sat, sullen and exhausted, with a cup of coffee. I saw them embrace, sighing and comforting, as I turned into the bathroom.

I stripped down in the bathroom, throwing my dirty, stinking clothing into the hamper, and turned the shower as hot as it could go. I stood under the water and let it sear my skin, and I started to sob.

How could I do that to my mom and James? I promised them I’d be better. But I fucked up on day one! That was just like me, wasn’t it?

I quickly got sick of the shower, my insides feeling curdled, so I got out and dried myself, changing into my pajamas. I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment. Sick, I thought, I’m sick just like my goddamn dad, I am.

I laid down in bed, my wet hair soaking into my pillow. Someone knocked on the door and I prayed it wasn’t someone who was gonna scream.

“Come in,” I croaked.

 James crept in, flicking on the light. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…” I sat up in bed. “I’m sorry, by the way. I know you’ve got work and stuff tomorrow… I really didn’t mean to worry you guys so much.”

He smiled sadly. “If you didn’t want to worry us, maybe you shouldn’t have stayed out until three in the morning on a school night.”

“I just missed my old friends. I really didn’t meet anyone new in school. No one likes me…” I sighed, wiped my eyes. “I won’t do it again, okay?”

James just nodded. “You know your mom’s really worried about you, right? She really wants you to be okay.”

“Yeah, I know…” I paused, thinking about the hoodie. “Does she think I’m gonna end up like my dad?”

“She hasn’t told me much about that, but I’m sure she does.” James glanced towards the door, which was still hanging open. “Now, I don’t know a lot about your real dad, but-”

“Listen, I don’t really wanna talk about that guy right now. And we both need to sleep… Night, James.”

“Yeah, alright. Goodnight.” He turned off the lights, and shut the door behind him.