The title to this chapter says it all. Since the beginning of mine and Jefferies marriage, I had reached out to everyone, there is a memorie of when the whole family went to the stock yards in Fort Worth, everything was fine, or so I thought. When we get back home, I remember standing on my side of the bed and he was standing on his side. He was mad, he started asking me about the cigarettes, I told him that I had smoked our last cigarette and that I could go and get more, not thinking anything of it or the terrifying events that where about to happen. We had our 1-2 year old in the house, he started yelling at me, about me smoking the last cigarette. I kept telling him that I could go get more, eventually the environment got so overwhelming, that the next thing I remember is him following me all around the apartment with our daughter in my arms, while he is screaming at me. I remember calling my grandmother and begging her to come help me. He ended up literally cornering me in the kitchen trying to take my phone away from me and I kept pushing his hand away and he started yelling even more that I was hitting him. He would storm off and then come right back and corner us again. Unfortunately she ended up hanging up on me regardless of my plead for help because I thought he was going to beat me with our daughter in my arms. I remember that no one called me back and no one came to check on me or my daughter to make sure we were ok instead we were left in a situation that could have potentially either hurt me and her or killed me, her or both of us. This memory will forever be burned and engrained into my being for eternity. The day he did that was the day he showed me just how far he was willing to go. That was only the tip of the iceberg burg, I was in for so much more then I even thought possible. There is another memory that I will never forget as much as I want to. I had just lost my first born son and when the day came to bury him, the girl that he had told me time and time again he was just friends with texted his phone and asked him to take her to club insomnia. Opening that message not only confirmed my gut feeling for months, but his reaction, his moms reaction and my families reaction was agonizing. The only person I remember actually getting mad and defending me and fighting for me was my aunt. My aunt to the phone and started in on the girl, because the girl Nichole started making me feel like I was in the wrong, my aunt started to handle the situation and then Jeffery took the phone outside away from everyone where no one could see him proceeded to “go off on her” but right after he erased the text messages between him and her and wouldn’t let one see them. Jeffery then not only sweet talked me saying he didn’t know why she was messaging him like that, but also started promising me as many kids as I wanted and that I was the only one for him and with him. At this point I couldn’t drive I was so distraught and broken and couldn’t even begin to know how to process what had just happened, when I got to my sons funeral I tried walking to the chair where I was meant to sit but fell to the ground and felt like I didn’t have anything left strength, fight, life, will, worth. I felt as if not only had my son died and I was about to have to bury him that my very being and dignity was stripped away from me with no remorse or care in the world.