“So we’re all in agreement?”

“Agreement of what exactly??”

“The thing!”

“I think he’s asking to explain ‘the thing.’”

“Wait, how many people are in this conversation?”

“I’m not sure at this point.”

“I just saw Alex pick his nose, I can’t believe him.”

“Okay unnecessary information.”

“What yall could hear that? Sorry.”

“This is getting confusing.”

“So what’s the thing again?”

“It’s like if— “He brought it up at dinner—

“Remember when she said—

“No, not that thing— “Is it just me or—“

“Alright can we talk one at a time please?”

A resounding series of ‘sorry’ echoes through his head, “The ‘thing’ is the fact that this is taking way too long and we should all get pizza after thing.”

“I thought we said Chinese! “But burgers—

“Dominos or— “Who’s paying again?

“I thought it was— “But what about— “What??

“Did anyone just see what Andy did?”

“Hello?? I hope not, that was embarrassing!”

“There are entirely too many people in this one conversation,” he says, “Only like 6 out of the 20 something people here are even going to get pizza!”

“But I thought we were getting—“

“Alright hold on, everyone who can hear me right now can you cough out loud?”

The entire room is filled with the sounds of coughing, all of the 20 something people in overlapping unison that can’t possibly be a coincidence.

He rolls his eyes and puts his head in his hands, “This is ridiculous.”