As you disappeared

And fell out of my fingertips

I thought I broke

Turning to ash and nothing more

That I’d never get back to her

If only that girl knew

With the pigtail braids

And the bangs

That it was a phoenix

Rising through

That I was becoming someone even better and new

So then it became a whip

One that changed everything

It was time for me to change

I thought I was the villain

Or even the anti-hero

But maybe I’m the hero

The one who thinks she’s nothing special

The one who thinks she’s meant for the background

But I hold myself back

I pin myself down

So it’s my turn to see myself in a new light

It took you leaving for me to see my worth

Your betrayal to make me breathe

A knife in my back

To run far and fast

I’ve done more than what I could imagine

And the best part

You’ll never see that

You missed the best part

All because you hated the worst

You don’t get to come to my wake

Kindly walk away

You don’t deserve who I am

I don’t need you to tell me you’re sorry

Or that you want a second chance

I finally know my worth

And I understand what a friend is

You lost what could have been

And no

You don’t get to just walk back in

You missed the awakening

I now see that I’m a phoenix

I’ll go through rough patches

I’ll fall to the ashes

But I’ll come back

Again

And again

And again

And Billie Eilish said it best

“I’m in love with my future,

Can’t wait to meet her”

But you don’t get to

So go back to sleep

While I stay awake

And show my worth

You get the opportunity to miss it

While I breathe myself to life again