I used to wish that I could fly among the stars

I used to wonder how it would feel to live on Mars

Because here, on Earth, I live behind these bars

Built by my own fears, that I learned to keep like scars

When I had to accept that she was never coming back

When I let myself plunge headlong into the black

When I said God no to healing, Hell yes to the slack

When death was all I was dealing, I gave into the lack

There in the airless void, where the stars once shined

My dreams still float, still flicker, dulled but divined

Unbound by their creator, they are left to unwind

No grief, no shame, no fear, nothing left to hide behind

In the lonely years she’s been gone, I’ve been unwell

Made ill by heartache or hopelessness, none can tell

Like a rootless tree, fruitless and dying, dire, I dwell

Blind on the brink of darkness, wondering when the stars fell.