I looked into her eyes wonder when I started to feel this way. As if it was overnight, just yesterday I was teasing her and now I wish it was still a joke. I wonder if she noticed the shift in my eyes, my movements, and voice. I wonder if she noticed how I stare at her lips just a little bit longer now. I wonder if she notices how much I was to kiss her. I wonder if she also wishes we weren’t just friends.

Everytime she hugs me, I inhale the familar scent never letting go first. Everytime she laughs I hope she looks my way. Everytime she puts her arm around me I try to act normal and grab her hand convincing myself this is what any best friend would do. But there was nothing platonic about the way I intertwined my fingers with hers every chance I get. There was nothing platonic about the way I dreamed you would kiss me on top of the stairs during our secret rendezvous in my mind. There was absolutly nothing platonic about the way I dedicated very song I heard to you.

All these thoughts that kept me up at night for years and years you will never ever know because I would rather watched you be with him as a friend than watch you though my phone as strangers. To me, you changed everything and completely flipped my world upside down. But to you I was probably just your bestfriend for a couple of years.