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One night, one dream

Tonight is _the_ night. This is what all the rehearsals have been leading up to. My dream has arrived and I cannot wait! Everything makes me fill up with euphoria - the lights, audience, costumes, makeup, hair _ahhhh _everything is amazing! This is why I _love_ performing. The dream is to be an actress someday and to be on TV, I don’t need Broadway or Hollywood, I need to be recognised that I am good enough and that I _can_ act and I can do it well.


I quickly put on my dark, mysterious gown, black eyeliner, mascara, concealer, bronzer and cherry red lipstick with my glossy black hair into a braided crown. I recite my lines aloud and shake my hands ā€œI’ve got this, I can do this, I’m good enoughā€ I tell myself, whispering so quietly, I can barely hear it. My teacher always says, you need to think positively for the outcome to be positive and I _totally _agree! Good thoughts = good performance. You just need to know your lines thoroughly, use facial expressions, gestures, stage spacing with your head held up high and with a happy, confident smile on your face. You have to ā€˜_fake it till you make it!’_ I recite my lines as Lady Macbeth and play with my hands. I always worry if I crumble on stage because it’ll make me look worse than I am - especially if I _know _I could do better. I’m going to try my best and not let anybody’s words let me down.


I begin slowly walking to the stage, heart pumping and heavy breathing. I lied, I’m getting very anxious. It’s so important and I can’t jinx it but I can’t fail. I need to do this - for me, for the audience and for my family. I hear my teacher talking about the play and all these random facts about it (she’s very nice but also a bit weird but we’re all used to it.) She asks us if we’re all excited and I think we are but I’m also terrified which is normal for a performance. I’m usually used to the spotlight but it is a lot to handle. I’ve learnt how to handle it like a pro - breathe in and out several times, make sure you eat something beforehand, drink sips of water if you’re anxious and go to the toilet a lot and you’ll be okay! (This is only pre-performance if you are feeling pretty scared.) I can see all the people in the audience clapping after she has finished her speech meaning it’s my time to shine. I look around one last time to have a photographic memoir and I step onto stage. ā€œYou’ve got this! Good luckā€ all these voices shout and cheer ā€œ_WOOP WOOP_!ā€ one goes and I can’t help but giggle. It’s called an anxious laugh apparently when you’re trying to not have a panic attack so you laugh. Weird, right?


The golden lights shine down on me which covers the faces in the audience and it almost blinds me when it’s my turn to perform my lines. I walk in with a straight posture, relaxed and hold a letter from Macbeth. I say ā€œThey met me in the day of success: and I have learnt from the perfectest report, they have more in them than mortal knowledge. When I burned in desire to question them further, they made themselves air, into which they vanished.ā€


More time goes by and I say another line ā€œCome you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, unisex me hereā€¦ā€


Finally, it’s time for my final line of the night ā€œWhat’s done cannot be undoneā€ as I try to crumple my face up and produce fake tears (this is very difficult) with a slouched posture and glassy eyes.


That’s what it feels like. I curtsy, I bow and I smile as loud as words could say. I feel a bit teary as the lights dimmed down and the audience shout as ever and I feel so proud of myself. I cannot believe I am here on this very stage feeling so happy! I walk off slowly and everyone is congratulating me - I love being here and never want to leave.

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