WRITING OBSTACLE

Submitted by Katelyn Jane

Write a chapter of a self-help book written by the absolute worst person to receive this kind of advice from.

What kind of awful advice might be found here?

Scraps Giyd 2 Beying PAWSUM!!!!

(Before Ichor Incidents!)


(Dandys World prompt going WILD.. -_-)


Scraps waddled around the Museum, passing out horribly drawn on pamphlets. The paper was creased, being stapled by its left side. She handed them out like they were extremely famous magazines. It had a little illustration of her, drawn in by crayons and pencil. It was most likely drawn by Dandy, or she stole his crayons from him to draw this lovely self portrait.


The portrait had a picture of Scraps, having drawn her in a more sophisticated manner. The paper behind her was still that familiar bleak white. Scraps, in the picture, had her cat paws up to resemble a thumbs up. At the top of the pamphlet, written in black crayon, was a very odd title.


"Scraps Giyd 2 Beying PAWSUM!!!!"


Scraps eventually made her way to one of the computer rooms, housing Vee. She was fixing her game show microphone after she yelled into it too loud. With a scowl, she dropped the screwdriver she was holding onto a nearby table. "I can tell it's you, Scraps. Are you ready to apologize about winning all of my game show prizes?!"


Skidding quickly to a halt, Scraps laughed loudly. "No, silly! Wanna check out my super cool book I just wrote?" She slapped her knee with the stack of pamphlets, Vee turned around, looking upset. "Fine. Give me one of your stupid pamphlets!" She snatched it out of Scraps' hands, causing the rest of the pamphlets to scatter across the computer room floor.


"Scraps.. Guide to being Pawsum?" She marveled in anger over the cover, which painted Scraps in such a nice manner. Vee flipped to the first (and only) page, having a picture pasted on by glue. It was a picture of a poster on the wall. Specifically, "Winning Big!", which is the same episode where she won all the game prizes. Underneath it, in the same black marker, read the sentence that would make Vee tweak.


"Step 1: win a PAWSUM geym sho! tuhank yew ve! :)


and tuhayt is al!! yew wil be PAWSUM!! aftr tuhayt!"


Vee held the pamphlet between her hands, ripping the paper apart the harder she grasped it. By now, Scraps had collected all the pamphlets again. "Thank you for the amazing prizes! Isn't amazing such a cool word?! Rodger taught it to me in our grammar lesson! Anyways, aloha!"


Vee tore the paper to shreds as soon as Scraps left.

Comments 4
Loading...