TW: my problems

Needs unmet

All for regret

I’m on the fence

Invisible to you

I wish I was prevalent

In your life,

That you disguise

Lie,

Kiss me, to make me cry

Listen to your family,

Preach their truth,

Deny me, Sue

I’ll still come back to you

Oh, I hate you

How you whisper the color blue.

Ever hunger?

Kick your legs and wonder?

If we were something?

If I knew we weren’t nothing?

Because

Greed’s a reflection

I love that fucking mirror

This isn’t introspection

I need you to stop performing fear

Ever love someone?

Baby, this isn’t love—

it’s obsession.

Blame me on my dad.

Dad, dad, dad.

Never kissed the bruises, only inflicted them

Why be a father, only to raise a victim?

“Fuck that”

He never noticed the scars tracing his daughter’s neck

Heck, if he did, I’d be more wrecked.

Let ink paint my body instead of my paper

Too young, never felt safer.

Too high strung, so I cling to anyone.

(Smoke in my lungs, bury my coffin in journal paper

Drunk like dad, my alcoholic breath, I hate, drive a stake through me later.)

“Hey girl don’t pity me, I’ll just deflect.”

Needs unmet

All I regret

Is losing you

Because I begged for glue.

Because we hide our truths.

Hopeless lies,

I really, really tried.

I was a monsoon, but I cut myself instead of you.

Who cares?

Efforts bathe in vanity

You were candy,

I gave you half of me

…

No testimony?

Where was the jury?

She steals my heart

Any day we’re apart.

“God, why am I sour, not tart?”

Room

Chairs

Poems

Claire

I sit here

Waiting for warmth

Inhaling your hair, frozen air

Starin’ out

My foggy window

Teasing me with futures

Luring me in with virtues

Summer don’t come

Leave me to my delusions

Away from influence

Away from church hymns

Who strip her from my page

Wishing the tears weren’t from rage

To my father

And how my made my mistakes

And how they ruin my dates

And how they burned my fate.

Oh, come back

Sue, please stay.