Dear Self this is me Terry,

We haven’t talked in how many years? Like 30??

I know it’s been forever and for that I’m truly sorry,

It’s not your fault at all it’s mine actually.

The last time we talked it was horrible, ugly and scary,

We were kids back then we were practically still babies.

I mean hell the house were lived in was the doorway to Hades,

Home is supposed to be a place of love and safety.

We know that isn’t true being born into our family,

Dear Self, I’m sorry, but each heartbeat is a reminder of a past memory.

Of a life I didn’t want. I feel it vaguely and I see it plainly,

A countdown to my permanent release, isn’t that crazy?

I understand if you blame me, I left you alone to survive on your own,

I couldn’t help it my heart turned dark and cold.

My emotions got put on hold, while I hid behind the walls of stone,

That I built to protect me, a place that I could be alone.

I was a helpless victim and I stayed there way too long,

Slowly over time I withered away until all I had left of me was gone.

Felt like I died, got dragged into the yard, there I remained under the front lawn,

There I laid a child everyone had forgotten.

Dear Self, I’m sorry I left you alone to perish,

I didn’t know what I was doing I was young and foolish,

I didn’t mean to leave you alone to fall into your own abyss.

All the times we could’ve been together I’ll forever miss,

We are one and the same there’s nothing together that we can’t accomplish.

I’ll do my best to make it up to you, I swear, I promise,

I never imagined what would happen, that it end up like this.

I finally found myself in the darkness,

You don’t have to be afraid of it, it’s harmless.

Dear Self, I’m sorry I left, but I’m here now,

I’ll do everything to make it up to you even though idk how.

I know I left you to be consumed by anxiety, depression and doubt,

It might not mean much now, but for you I’ll forever be proud,

That you are in my life even though I left you to drown.

I didn’t know I was locking you in, keeping you from ever getting out,

I’m opening up the door for you, trying my best to turn all this around.

Way deep down I know your screaming HELP but never make a sound,

I’ll dig forever deeper into the ground.

I’ll never stop till I reach you and your found,

I’ll lift you up and I’ll never again let you down.

Dear Self, don’t fear I’m coming, almost there,

I’ve left you alone for so long you probably think I don’t care.

I do and when I find you we can talk and share,

All that we missed together that vanished into thin air.

It might be hard and all that we can bare,

I promise you won’t be alone anymore, I’ll always be there.

When I finally find you we’ll never again separate,

Every moment will be a blessing to celebrate.

Together we’ll put our minds together and cerebrate,

Find a way to overcome the hate, rewrite our story, recreate our fate.

Get our life straight and start over with a clean slate,

I bet your probably thinking that at this rate,

I won’t actually come for you for at least another decade.

Dear Self, I just want to make one thing very clear,

As long as there’s a breath in my body I’ll always be right here.

I know you’re scared, so am I, but we’ve been to hell and back,

I can still feel the heat, I still inhale that smell that made us gag.

We’ve been through so much what’s left to fear?

Except fear itself that is darker than pitch black,

I’m waiting here silently for your voice to reach my ears.

The fear may be a sepulcher but it won’t attack,

I’ve been waiting for years, that my voice you’d somehow hear.

I’m coming and I won’t stop to I can bring you back,

Dear Self, just remember that when I find you we’ll be together forever.

Nothing will ever come between us, never again tear us apart,

No matter what happens we’ll push on no matter the weather.

We’ll walk against the crowd, they’re to scared to walk down the boulevard of scars,

I hope this letter reaches you and lessens the pressure,

Remember when we felt like we were on top of the world, because we could ride our bikes with no handlebars.

We can do it all, climbed out of the cellar, see that terror just keeps us afraid of our center,

Dear Self, the center is where we’re we’ll finally meet.

We’ll break down then stone walls, together an easy feat,

We are strong can’t be beat, we’ll bleed till we’re complete.

Plant the seed that deletes the deceit,

We’ve been broken down, torn apart, thrown around, chewed up and spat out like, Hawk Tua!!

But we are the dream weavers for both the deceivers and the believers,

We’re are ones with the reaper, the casket keeper!

Twilight traveler’s just trying to remember,

Who we are beyond the flickering flames and dying embers.

We’ll never burn out we just need a breath to reignite,

This time there’s no one on earth that can deny.

That the tears we cry grew wings and flew up to the sky,

There’s birds, clouds, blue roofs and no doubts, why do people pretend that they are living before they die??

No matter how they try, how high they climb, they’re out of supply, so I guess it’s goodbye.

Yet you and I are made from the flames that forge,

We may be scorched but we’ll never drop this torch.

It doesn’t matter how much we’ve been tortured, as long as we keep moving forward.

Together nothing will ever bother you and I,

From now on I’m here and we’ll always be alright.

From me to you for us!!

—ŤerryŞalmon—