It was Tuesday, a Tuesday like any other, smelling of lukewarm chai and long-forgotten gym socks. I stepped outside in my usual attire, earbuds in ear, ready to listen to the ever-increasing backlog of podcast episodes. I looked out at the pleasant day and took a deep breath, when suddenly the sky cracked.

Not metaphorically. Literally. A jagged sliver tore through the sky like someone had taken a cosmic box cutter to the atmosphere. Through the gash poured a blinding light, like the universe had left the fridge door open. Out poured shades of red I don't think I have ever seen before, it was so intense it was hard to look at. There was a cacophony of noise that accompanied the color and everything in the sky was noisy and shifting in ways no human had never seen before. The noise kept raising to a crescendo, when just as quickly as it started, it faded to a single faint note. Suddenly, part of the red sky opened to reveal a stream of light.

Then came the unicorns.

Not like glittery Lisa Frank unicorns, these unicorns were vibrant. One was neon pink with flames for a mane. Another had wings made of bubble wrap. They were absolutely majestic and terrifying in equal measures and oddly well groomed.

On their backs rode the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

War had a mohawk on his mohawk and wielded a flamethrower they were using to roast marshmallows. Famine was sipping a kale smoothie and scrolling through Reddit on their phone. Pestilence wore a full hazmat suit and kept sneezing into their elbow. Death was just chilling, listening to lo-fi beats on a first gen iPod with a skull and bones sticker on the back.

When they about reached the ground, they stopped just short and hovered just above the ground. They then formed a line to usher in her - Satan's daughter. Her name was Lilith, but she preferred "Lil.Z" and she was wearing knee-high combat boots and an oversized black hoodie that read "I Paused My Game to Be Here."

Landing with a dramatic flourish, she turned to me and asked: "Where's the nearest comic shop?"

My brain broke, but finally I responded with "comic... shop?"

"Yeah, the nearest comic book shop. You have no idea how much interdimensional shipping costs. It's far cheaper to tear a hole in reality and start the apocalypse." She informed.

My brain started to work a little bit and I asked "you started the apocalypse, for comics?"

"It's not that I wanted to, but it was the only way to get a visa to Earth. Really, I just want to binge-read some Gwenpool and Harley Quinn in peace."

The Horsemen all nodded solemnly. War then offered me a churro. "We're also union now," he said. "Mandatory snack breaks."

Without thinking I took the churro from War. "So... This isn't the end of the world?"

Lil.Z rolled her eyes. "Nah. Just a soft launch. Maybe like a 'beta apocalypse.' We'll just patch the bugs later."

And I just wanted to go for a normal walk...