I was awoken by a rooster.

 Not in the normal, stereotypical, ‘cocka-doodle-doo,’ but a literal rooster, just lying on my legs like he was the family dog. I in return, screamed, then ducked under my blanket like there was a monster under my bed, though in this case, over it.

The rooster was startled at my scream and began clucking around, its talons digging into my legs from their supposed safety under the covers.

I hear the door creak open then a voice. “Oh Daniel.” She speaks with such a kind tone i don’t fully recognize her as Aunt Clara until she says my name. “Dont worry about Danny Haven, hes the friendliest rooster in the ranch.”

She chuckles at that, as if the fact a _living breathing monster _wasn’t just lying on me. I slowly emerge from the covers to see Clara almost _cradling _the thing. 

“Your— It—“ My eyes are manic, going from Clara to the monster, knowing i look as terrified as i felt.

I force my face and exterior to calm down and hitch my mouth into a sideways smile. _God, I hate having to think of smiling._ 

“S—Sorry, I didn’t expect a…” I trail off, stopping myself from calling _Danny_ over there a monster. “rooster in my bed.”

As i sit up, i realize the only thing im wearing is my bra and a pair of gray sweatpants. “Dang it— I mean— sorry, i didn’t—“

Clara takes a step back and nodded, but now her face was on _it _again and shut the door. “Go ahead and get ready for the day and meet me in the back.”

I force myself into a grin. “Perfect!” 

The moment she, and the monster, leaves, I breathe a sigh of relief, then it turns into a groan at the realization i didn’t even who where in the world _the back_ was. The only rooms i had been in this house consisted of a dining room, kitchen, and the one i was in now. 

I grab a white blouse that, painfully, Demsi bought me a few years ago, and high waisted jean shorts,  switch into those, and jump  into the bathroom to see a messy girl with a ratnest of brown hair sitting on her head

Another groan escapes my mouth. _How did Clara see me like this? _

After im finally presentable to society i practically strut out of my room, trying to retain any sense of dignity from the monster fiasco. I decided the best place to start on looking for Clara was whichever door led to the backyard.

Once i found it, however, i was met with a giant field of the first grass i had seen in the state of Arizona. 

Aunt Clara came barreling at me, all tension from yesterday seemingly forgotten _to her. _ She stopped about a foot from my face and eyed my outfit seriously, her gaze stopping at my shoes. 

“Oh, those shoes are absolutely atrocious!” She said with the biggest smile on her face that i thought i heard her wrong. 

I gawk at her, then at my Kate Spade sandals i was feeling good about when i pick them out, now resembling black beetles on my feet the way she explained them.

Befor i could look up from my favorite shoes, a pair of cowboy boots smacks my face. “Change into these!”

With a stinging forehead and a popped bubble of self esteem, i slipped the brown boots  on begrudgingly.

When i look up, Aunt Clara’s smiling face was replaced with Weston’s frown. “You done yet?” 

_Are you kidding me._ “Yep!” I about jump up, masking my surprise to see _him_ by sending my voice up the octave. 

Weston surveyed me seriously then nodded. “Welcome to the ranch.” Without another word, darted from the beautiful shade of the patio to a giant, stereotypical red barn in the distance.

I almost yelled out in an act of fury, but decided against it for Aunt Clara’s sake. Sure i hated her, but i didn’t wish a heart attack on her. 

A much too familiar stab of pain erupts from my chest. _I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone._  

After sprinting after him to the barn, i opened the giant doors and see Wyatt, Josephine, Noah, and Sawyer from the night before. And of course, Weston.

I reach Weston and he gives me a quick glance, but turns away. Not rude, exactly, but dismissive. Cold. Like it wasn’t her he expected to see. 

“You’ll meet the animals today.” He mutters, already moving to the others. 

I furrow my brow. _He didn’t even look at me!_ _What did i do?_

Josephine strutted up to me and smiled almost knowingly. “Hows it going with Weston sweetie?” She barked a laugh  as i gawked at her. 

“What.” I felt my face redden more that humanly possible and stifle my embarrassment. “I never— he’s not even my— No!”

Josephine grinned, her sunspotted face shining. “Ill give you an official tour of the barn sweetie.”

After a long trip around the giant structure seeing more animals then i thought could survive in the desert, we climbed up a ladder to a massive loft filled with hay. And chickens. Everywhere. 

I almost backed myself off the edge to the hard wooden floor almost twenty feet below. 

“You know, Josephine, this has been a great tour of all these animals that could kill me, but ill stop it h—“

She snatched my arm and looped hers through it. “The hens cant kill you Haven! Come here, its the best part.”

Josephine dragged me to the window overlooking the ranch and a large mountain range in the distance. 

“It’s just lovely, isnt it sweetie?” She breathed out happily. “Over there’s where we keep the cattle, the horse-riding fields, then out in the distance are the Santa Rita Mountains!” 

Josephine’s eyes were practically shining, but the view only reminded me of the first time i came to Tuscon, almost 25 years ago. And Clara. 

“You can’t trust Clara.” I don’t know what drove me to say that thing to this person, up here. Maybe it was all the acting. Perhaps I needed to say it.  But when i turned to her, her smile disappeared.

I felt her eyes burning into me. “And why is that, sweetie?”

I coughed, shaking my head. “Never mind, I—” 

“I know she did when you were nine, Haven, but you cant hold a grudge about it. She’s changed. And I know you just met me, but trust me sweetie. She _really, really_ wants to do better for you. I can promise you that.” Josephine grabbed my hand as i turned away, her face fierce. 

“Just–”

I snatched my arm back, a shiver going up my spine. “You don’t know what happened. _I_ can promise _you_ that.” 

I left her up in the loft and tried to stop the waterfall of memories that she woke up. _I know what she did when you were nine._ 

_Its what she didn’t do. _I remembered sitting in my bedroom alone, waiting for the person i would never see again. I remembered when they would dance while they made breakfast for us on Sunday mornings, and the _smiles_ on their faces. _Real_ smiles. I remember the ambulances and my dad’s broken face. Their were no more smiles after that. Not real ones anyway. I remember sitting in the office at school, waiting for my dad even though I knew he wouldn’t come. Not after what happened to her. To _mom_.

I remember Clara turning me down at the chance of a better childhood. Away from a bedrotting depressed father. Away from the city where she died. And into the armsof someone who could’ve given me a life worth living. I remembered thinking about ending it all at _14_ but stopped because if i did, I knew dad would too. 

My mind cleared and i noticed Weston at one of the stalls ahead. Trying to hide the memories, i snatched my phone out of my pocket and opened YouTube out of muscle memory. _Bad choice_. 

The first video on my For You page was _‘RayPlays and Demsi: The New Power Couple of Social Media?’_

I fought the urge to throw my phone across the room and sucked in a cold breath.

I stared at the title again. It was really there. They were really on the thumbnail — kissing. _Two weeks ago, he was on one knee for me, now he’s kissing her?!_

My knees buckled, and black squiggles blurred my vision just as strong, rough arms hauled me up against a giant pillar.

“What happened?” Weston’s voice thundered in my ear as I started to regain focus.

My mind raced with fantasies of running away, sobbing alone in the desert, but my feet wouldn’t move, my body barely held itself up — and then, unexpectedly, I laughed.

It sounded more like a breakdown than a happy laugh, but I managed, “Oh, that? Yeah, I’m fine.”

He eyed me like I’d lost it, but I forced myself to stand.

“Really, I don’t need a babysitter. Just go do whatever you were doing.” I shrugged unconvincingly and bolted before he could say anything.

I slammed the back door of the house behind me with a force that echoed through the stillness of the evening air, my heart racing as I came face to face with the last person I wanted to see. 

“Clara.” The name slipped from my lips like venom, my anger palpable. Clara’s expression shifted, caught between surprise and defensiveness. “Why do they know what you did? Why would Josephine know?!”

I felt my fists clench tightly at my sides as Clara stood frozen for a moment, her eyes wide, before a wave of guilt washed over her. “It was so long ago!” she exclaimed, her voice wavering slightly. “Haven, you don’t understand how much it hurt me to turn you down. I—”

“How much it hurt you?!” My shock and disbelief were mirrored in her expression. “I’m relieved to hear that you feel bad for abandoning me with Chris for nine long years! Thank you! How about we invite him over so you can give him a pat on the back for ‘raising’ me_ so well_?”

“Don’t.” I shook my head sharply, cutting her off before she could respond. “Let’s just leave it in the past, shall we? At least you’re here now, right, Auntie?” The bitter edge to my last word hung in the air.

For a moment, we stood there, emotions swirling between us. Then, Clara’s expression hardened; her eyes darkened with an intensity that made my stomach drop. “Sally’s making dinner tonight, Haven. I hope to see you there.”

Without waiting for a reply, she turned on her heel and walked away, her silhouette disappearing down the hallway toward her bedroom.