sometimes my friends make me sad

not because they did something,

it’s because they didn’t,

it’s because with him i barely talk,

silent calls and dead text strings

and with her,

she’s only someone to talk to

over text and in the classes we have together,

because she has others

and i don’t,

and him we talk, our friendship

ebbs and flows with time,

it happens to be strong now,

i hope it stays that way

but im scared

i’m scared they’ll find someone better

because lord knows im not the someone better

i’m scared we’ll grow apart

because im everyone’s second

if i lose them,

do i really have anyone?

or maybe i was always alone

because i still find comfort

in the company that is the falling leaves

the rustle of an unknown animal,

a cloudless sky

a stormy summer day,

because each leaf is someone to confide in

the rustles is another soul that is lost but happily so

each speck of blue is a grace upon the world

and each clash of thunder is proof that i’m not

the only one holding in a scream