The tidal wave crash of reality A dolly zoom in real time Burning sweat of laughing onlookers Stand waving banners inside my head. How did I get here? And why can I not escape? Every bead of sweat, every line on my brow, I drown in my insecurities, The things I had prided myself on all seem so Embarassing, silly, childish. The frozen moment slowly restarts, But my head - my heart - doesn’t follow. For the rest of my forever is spent thinking, Playing the embarrassment on repeat As if someday it will change, But it hasn’t yet And I know it won’t. Maybe next time.