(tw: sh, 3d)

«truth or dare?» lisa cocks one eyebrow in ym direction, challenging me, urging me on with those daring eyes of hers. all eyes are on me. each person sitting around me in this circle is waiting for me to take on the dare, truth isnt an option. an option for pussies, they said. and i know that lisa isnt questioning me. she is choosing me. «Dare.» i say and grin. she grins back, almost as in suprise. «well, you must know, once youve joined the game, theres no going back.» everyone goes quiet when lisa whispers those words, because we all secretely know that that is how we have been led here. by lisa. something within lisa just doesnt sit right with us. we noticed it some weeks back, so me and my friends wanted to investigate. thats how we found oursleves in lisas basement, an eerie glow from the overlight headlights, corners that seem to lead to backrooms, or even worse. i shrug the grwoing omnious feeling inside me, that intuivitely jumps in me when the lights start to flicker. maybe ive just watched too many thriller films or been to obsessed with fanatsy novels, but theres still a nagging feeling in my astomach that i shouldve left when the others did. somehthing is off. but i brush it away and nod. firmly.

«alright. i dare you to…drink this bottle of wine. right here. right now.» she gets up and dissepears behind a door, only to reapper moments later with a tall bottle of red wine. a very old sort, that is.

i chuckle nervously. «Uhm, are you sure thats a good idea? being a school night and all…» i trail off, wanting to postpone this dare. also at panic of not being in a drunken state, but goddamns those calories i cant even- but lisa breaks my line of thought, staring me right into my soul.

«or are you afraid? this is pretty heavy stuff…on the scale espacially…» i barely blink, i have got to have imagined those words myself. i laugh it off. «Nope. nope. I will do it.» i take the bottle from her hands and dive right in. lisas voice is louder in my head than all those other voices, and i embrace it. welcome it. maybe i can do anything. any.fucking.thing. i sigh as the last drop dripples down my throat and smile at everybody…but theres no one else here now. just lisa. right in front of me. darkly lit room surrouinding us, and even more darkness in her eyes. and then she speaks, but her mouth doesnt open. her lips dont move. its in my head. "look at you now. your arms just pool out, your stomach like a blaring warning signal, your face, everything youve worked for is gone. dont forget who you are. throw. it. up. or youll lose. every. fucking. thing.» her voice is menacing, haunting, yet it hits every spot. she grabs a toothbrush and before i know it, all the contents of my stomach is on the floor. and then the words come tumbling back to me. disgust. guilt. shame. and theyre everywhere and its too much. theres too much darkness, too much pain. oh god, i need to break out of my own skin i need to- "here, you know it makes everything go away. it will all be gone. no more pain." lisa breaks into me again and hands me a shaving razor. my shaving razor. my weapon and my shield disguised in the form of a practical object. and i lose all my willpower at the sight of it, my trauma and my memories connected to it come flooding back into me like a bad tsunami, a storm that will drown me but i let it. because its all black now.

blood drips from my arms as the storm in my head settles down, and it goes a bit quiet. theres no storm now, only night. only darkness.

and then shes back. her voice sneaking up on me, again like she came sneaking back in these weeks. and i do everything i shouldnt do. i fucking murder the goddman woman. blood dripping from my hands, but my mind has never been cleaner. there is no black and white. its a whole goddamn rainbow.