Lying in bed at night

Staring at the mattress above me

Crying silently so I won’t worry her

Are you crying too?

Lying in bed at night

Staring at the mattress above me

Wondering where you are

Are you looking for us?

Lying in bed at night

Staring at the mattress above me

Hoping I’ll see you again

Are you even still alive?

Lying in bed at night

Pushing the mattress with my feet

Quiet laughter comes from above

Are you… never mind.

You’re not here, but she is, and so am I

At least we’re together

I don’t know what I’d do if we weren’t

Are you alone?

…is it bad that I hope you are?

(If you aren’t, that means you’ve moved on)

(I don’t want you to move on)

Please tell me I’m still important

(Not that it matters much)

Tell me she’s still important

(She matters more)

Of course I care about myself too

(That’s a lie. I’ve gotten good at lying)