This is how bleeding leads to beauty

You start off spending hours in front of the mirror

Pointing out all your imperfections and asking yourself questions

Why am I not skinny

Why are my ears so huge

Why am I so pale

You eventually leave the mirror only to return to the world of judgement

Whispers

You hide in the bathroom

Vomit into the toilet

Come back out and look in the mirror

You see a sad girl and you hate her

Hate her for giving in to the people

Hate her for not being beautiful

Hate her for hating yourself

You leave school and go home

Home to the yelling and tears

You steal a knife from the kitchen drawer and run up to you room

You drag the point across your wrists

Feel yourself come to your senses as the pain jerks you back to reality

You do it again and again

Until your bleeding and crying

You want to change

Want to start eating meals again

Want to start loving yourself

The next day you wake up and stand in front of the mirror

You wear a t-shirt and sweatpants to school

You don’t put any makeup on

The clothes are comfortable

And you like how your face looks

At school you talk to the girl who sits next to you in first period

She’s nice and funny

She tells you she likes the band on your T-shirt

You laugh for the first time in years

This is how bleeding leads to beauty

Hey y’all idk why I’m writing so much today maybe cause it’s Friday and I’m out of school, maybe it’s cause school was living hell and I had a lot of inspo