Today I’m leaving my room

I look around it

At all the bits and pieces of my childhood that are usually cluttered messily in various places

But are now neatly put away

I’m going out into the world to decide my future

I should feel sad but all I feel is relief

Relief to be leaving

I don’t have to hear any of the arguing and yelling anymore

I don’t have to live under my parents rules

I’m not sure...

My eyes are covered

My hands bound

My feet tied to a chair

They have dragged me down here

Laughed in my face

Took away my dignity

I am powerless

Alone

The room is closing in

Getting smaller and smaller

Can’t breathe

Not enough air

A hand reaches out

Tugs me back to reality

I open my eyes

Look at my surroundings

The dark room is now a bright classroom

The chains binding me to the chair is now in...

This is how bleeding leads to beauty

You start off spending hours in front of the mirror

Pointing out all your imperfections and asking yourself questions

Why am I not skinny

Why are my ears so huge

Why am I so pale

You eventually leave the mirror only to return to the world of judgement

Whispers

You hide in the bathroom

Vomit into the toilet

Come back out and look in the mirror

You see a sad ...

I tried

I really tried

I tried to tell you that when you held me you left bruises

That your kisses left burns

That your words left scars

But every time I did

You brushed it off

Called me overdramatic

I brushed it off until today

You stole your dads beer

And came into my room

Yelling and called me ungrateful swearing

I tried to run but you trapped me

You always trap me

And as you broke every bon...

I dress in a bright blouse, tight jeans

I go downstairs say I’m not hungry for breakfast

Smile and meet my friends

They all say they love my outfit

Love how I’ve been dressing more often

I smile and thank them

On the walk to school they gossip

I smile and pretend to be interested

I’m not

The bell has just rung and I’m about to head inside

Someone wraps their arms around me

Kisses my head

I turn ...

It was a year ago you left me

Alone and breaking

I’m still mad at you, I tell her

I don’t care you didn’t know your boyfriend had a gun

He was abusive and you should have left him

Shouldn’t have waited that long

It was selfish for you to leave me all alone with Mom

She still drinks

It’s worse now though without you

And dad…

Dad left

Without you, the favorite, Mom and I weren’t enough

He couldn’t...

Dear my almost lover

I don’t know why I am writing to you

The last time we met you made it pretty clear I’m not what you want

You broke me into a million pieces and left me to die

But that’s okay

I can see your happy now

Your wife is blonde and skinny and she’s everything you were looking for

everything I’m not

I know how important this was to you

You made it pretty clear that that’s what you were...

I run into his arms crying

He doesn’t pry but just holds me

There are no words but that’s enough

He strokes my hair and lets me cry into his chest

My tears soaking his shirt, staining it

He isn’t saying anything but I can tell by the way he holds me that he cares

That is more than enough

That is all I need

After I’ve cried all my tears I process what happened

When I come back to reality I lean ...

I sit quietly

Try to disappear

But there’s no need

No one here sees me

They wouldn’t even notice if I screamed

I contemplate screaming just to see what would happen

I tell myself I don’t care what they think of me.

Don’t care that my invisibility works to well

But deep down I want to be noticed

I want to laugh with my friends and have boys ask me out

I know none of these are possible though

I ...

He told me we would run away together

Told me we would get married

You tell me you love me

I love your ideas

I love that you care for me

But I don’t love you

I don’t love the way you look at my friends

Cruel and cold

I don’t love the way you bully the weak

I laugh it off around you but deep down I hate it

Being around you makes me want to cry

I cant tell if I’m in the wrong for not loving you

Or y...