It’s hard to be inconspicuous when you’re hanging upside down.

Suppose I found that out the hard way. I didn’t exactly expect the castle woods to be surrounded by animal traps. Or that said animal traps hung you suspended upside down from a flimsy tree branch. Rather precarious, to say the least. Considering the fact that the branch could snap and I could fall flat on my face, right after telling my guild that I would come back with the Crown Jewels… instead coming back with a broken nose.

I sigh, snapping myself out of my pessimistic thoughts. My arms drooping lazily above my head, my cheeks flushed from all the blood rushing to my head, and my hidden dagger slowly slipping out of my boot. Could it get any worse?

When footsteps come, I can’t decide if the answer is yes or no yet. I attempt to compose myself, trying to regain control of the situation. Ultimately failing, I simply stare ahead and wait for the person to show themselves.

Then, I catch a glimpse of silver in the light and a man, tall, lean yet athletic, dressed in polished guard armour steps out of the trees.

He raises an eyebrow at me. “What do we have here?” He steps forward and looks me up and down, the corner of his lips quirking up in amusement.

I frown indignantly. His smirk only goes more profound.

“Just a passing trader.” I say, tweaking my stance slightly to seem more shaken, “Seem to have gotten caught in one of the traps, though.”

“What you trading?” The guard eyes me skeptically, his gaze landing on my guild-coloured clothing: gold and navy. Dammit…

I pause, attempting a charming smile, which ends up being a sheepish smirk, “Err, ribbons, laces, dress making equipment.”

“Sure you ain’t stealing those?”

Ah, so he has noticed. Well, that settles it, I’m screwed.

“Err, no…?”

Abruptly, the guard steps forward, draws a sword and cuts the rope suspending me. I fall with a thud and groan dramatically.

“So, thief…” The guard says, looking down at me with that damn condescending smirk that I want to slap off his face, “What guild you in?”

“You’re out of your mind if you think I’m telling y—“ I pause when his blade is at my throat, “Talons.”

“Talons…” The guard’s face is suddenly lost in thought for a few moments until his eyes refocus back on mine, “And your name?”

“Silas.” I mutter, standing unceremoniously.

The guard is a few inches taller than me, and he takes full advantage of that. He stares down at me like I’m some little child that keeps stealing cookies. I stare back up with defiance, but my look quickly flickers to intrigue. Something about this guard is… different.

“Care to enlighten me what your name is?” I continue.

“I am not obligated to tell a thief my name.”

“And yet it would be ever so kind if you did.”

A low chuckle escapes the guard and he smiles, giving in, “Evander.”

Evander. A fancy name. It just sits right on my tongue.

“Well, you gonna arrest me, Evander?” I step closer. We’re an arms-breadth away. I almost want to be closer.

“It just so happens…” Evander raises a suggestive eyebrow, “That I have no proof that you are a thief and it is simple speculation.” He smirks, then adds, “I say you do not attempt this castle again, Silas, or it would be a lot more difficult to let you get away.”

“You’re ridiculous. Letting a thief go? What kind of guard are you?”

He shrugs, “Go, before I do decide to get the handcuffs out.”

I laugh, turn and begin to leave. Glancing back briefly, I catch Evander’s eye and he winks. My chest warms and I slip into the shadows.

No Crown Jewels tonight… I just feel like I got something better.

Alright, I know that this is super unrealistic and this would never happen in real life, but there we go. That’s what fiction’s for, right? Anyway, this isn’t exactly a planned piece, I just winged it to see what I could come up with on the spot, so I would love for some feedback on how to improve! Thank you.