By Frankie R. Astor (@oswegosownimprov)

You’re probably depressed and that’s why you’ve come here. Well listen, I’m definitely better than you at this emotions crap so sit your sad ass down. It’s pointless being sad I mean I know I’m much better than you at just about everything, especially if you’re one of those New York idiots I’ve socialized too goddamn much with, but it’s important to realize you’re probably better than a hell of a lot of people yourself.

Those assholes that talk shit about other people’s writing but don’t write themselves or boss others around without volunteering at all. There are some really bitches out there and you might be one of them but everyone can change.

I won’t because I’ve always been great. You just don’t mess with perfection but I digress. It’s important to know that most of the time, you’re not the asshat. Let people make idiots of themselves because they don’t need any help doing that. Most of em’ just do it to compensate for things I shouldn’t write but would like to. They just can’t get over being bullied when they were young’in’s if y’all know what I mean.