(This kinda goes against the prompt but its not murdering humans or anything so…)

I’m on my way to the kitchen when there’s something in my peripheral vision catching my eye.

I look at the wall—

It’s orangeish.

And it has four legs.

_Oh holy shit it’s a cockroach and it’s HUGE._

__

Oh no oh no oh no oh no—

“You good?—“

“DAVID KILL THAT THING!!”

“Oh… yeah no.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YEAH NO??? KILL THE COCKROACH!!!! PLEASE!!!!”

“Kill it yourself…”

BUT WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY???

…Guess I’ll need to _borrow_ his slipper.